Updated: Dec. 25, 2015
Originally Published: Sep. 23, 2014
Yesterday, I was coaching a swim meet alongside three other coaches from my team. One was an upbeat college babysitter named Jamie, and the other was a fellow dad, Mark, who has three kids and is around my age.
As we stood on the deck, Jamie, who’s only 22, asked us, “What percentage of being a parent do you think really stinks?” I pondered for a moment before replying, “At least 70%.” Mark chimed in, “But definitely not more than 97.5%.”
“Wow, I thought I wanted kids, but now I’m not so sure,” Jamie responded. Naturally, we both fell into the obligatory spiel about how that 30% to 2.5% of non-stressful moments makes it all worthwhile.
Later that evening, I reflected on my answer and realized it needed to be more precise. Parenting resembles an endurance sport—think of it as the ultimate ultra marathon with no finish line in sight. It’s physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. There are mornings when the countdown to bedtime starts even before the kids have woken up. Honestly, some days, 97.5% of being a parent really does suck. In fact, there are days when it feels like a staggering 99.9% of the experience is just plain awful.
Consider those nights when your little one screams endlessly, or when your toddler decides to turn a diaper change into a Jackson Pollock painting on the floor with poop. Those moments? Yeah, they suck. Or how about the times you’re just seven minutes into a workout at the gym, and the babysitting room sends someone to find you because your child has been wailing the entire time? Yup, parenting can be a real drag.
And then there are the mornings after a little too much wine when your kid wakes up an hour and a half early, refusing to go back to sleep. Or the days when you’re trying to write a blog post, only to be interrupted by a kid determined to rip the mouse off its cord while another one slams an action figure on your keyboard.
Let’s not forget the chaos when your child decides to projectile vomit, covering every unwashable item in your house, including your freshly detailed car. Or that heart-wrenching moment when your teenager looks you dead in the eye and calls you names. Moments when you feel utterly helpless as some bully at school picks on your child, or when your daughter gets her heart broken by a lying, cheating jerk.
And what about those days when your child is paralyzed by anxiety and thinks performing certain rituals is the only way to ensure they make it home from school safely? Talk about feeling powerless.
There are times when you’re so exhausted that you’ve gone days without a shower, and then you just snap, yelling at your kids to be quiet. Or when you tell your four-year-old to stop a behavior, and she not only ignores you but smiles while doing it again. It’s the little annoyances, like having your kids touch each other in the car no matter how far apart you seat them, that can really test your patience.
Then there’s the anxiety when your teenager is an hour late coming home, or when your kids manage to lose yet another pair of goggles and break that cherished picture hanging on your wall.
And of course, when you and your partner finally have a moment to reconnect after weeks of chaos, and just minutes into it, one of the kids starts coughing like they’re auditioning for a horror movie. Those are the moments that seem to bring you to the edge of your sanity, pushing you toward that dreaded 99.9% suckiness.
But through all of that, there’s that glimmer of hope—like a sweet kiss, a brief moment of hand-holding, watching them sleep soundly, or seeing their face light up with joy after accomplishing something on their own. It’s those fleeting moments of joy—like witnessing their excitement during a rollercoaster ride or hearing a heartfelt “I love you, Mommy”—that make all the struggles worthwhile.
Sure, the tough days will often outnumber the good ones, but the bright spots are what keep you going. It’s all part of the wild ride that is parenthood.
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Summary
Parenting can be incredibly challenging, with many days feeling overwhelmingly difficult. However, amidst the struggles, there are precious moments that make the experience rewarding. Here’s to navigating the ups and downs of parenthood together!