When you decided to become a parent, you likely prepared yourself for the monumental lifestyle shift, especially concerning sleep. Everyone couldn’t wait to share the news that sleepless nights were on the horizon. But how far down the rabbit hole does parental sleep deprivation really go? If you can resonate with any of these signs, you might be in the thick of it:
- You’ve mistaken your toothpaste for diaper cream. Or maybe you actually did use it—hey, it happens to the best of us!
- Your kids plead for candy for breakfast, and you’re so drained you just shrug and think, “Why not? REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS FOR ALL!”
- You’ve managed to put the milk back in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge. Lumpy cereal? Just call it artisan cottage-style!
- You’ve dozed off while standing in the shower. Did you accidentally eat the shampoo? Who knows, you’re too tired to recall.
- You’ve donned your underwear over your pants. Fashion statement? Absolutely.
- You hurriedly loaded the kids into the car and sped off to school, only to realize it’s Saturday. Oops!
- You attempted to pay for groceries using your driver’s license. I mean, you’ve heard of charging household expenses to the state, right?
- You tried to feed your baby from a bottle through their ear. Close enough, right? They’re both on the head!
- You substituted breast milk for coffee creamer. Who knows? You might just be boosting your immunity!
- You were caught soothing a bag of flour to sleep in the baking aisle. Just toss a cute hat on it, and no one will know.
- You only shaved one leg before slipping into a skirt for work. Let’s call it Hirtsutian Chic.
- You asked your partner if he needed assistance in the bathroom. After all, who says you’re ever too old for that?
- You frantically searched for your glasses before realizing they were perched right on your face. What a lucky find—now you can spot that ant colony in your kid’s Halloween stash!
- You accidentally swapped salt for sugar in your bake sale cookies. Hey, parents probably don’t want their kids consuming that junk anyway!
- You shifted the car into drive instead of reverse while backing out of the driveway. Time for a new garage door, right?
- You mistakenly took a muscle relaxer instead of your birth control pill. Immobility as a form of birth control—creative thinking!
- You blanked on your own name while introducing yourself. Who said role-playing was just for the bedroom?
- You packed everything for baby but forgot the most important thing: the baby herself. No worries, she won’t remember this time!
- You finally got a night out and dressed up, only to find you wore two different shoes. Just convince your friends to do the same—true friendship, right?
- You haven’t exercised since leg warmers were all the rage. The thought of working out might just make your soul weep.
How did you fare?
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In summary, being a parent can really take a toll on your sleep, and these signs are just the tip of the iceberg. If you recognize any of them, know you’re not alone in this wild journey of parenthood.