By: Jenna Lake
Updated: Aug. 6, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 4, 2014
Much to the surprise of those around me, I was overjoyed when my doctor declared in the delivery room that a third daughter would be joining our family. Growing up with two sisters, I was eager for my three girls to dive into the thrilling chaos of our emotionally charged, melodramatic, all-female family dynamic.
Plus, we already had all the girl gear, which was a logistical dream come true for me. Our boy name was going to be Jamie, and I could just picture him adorably swaddled in a little pink gingham dress from Lilly Pulitzer.
But enough about our imaginary son Jamie. Here’s what I’ve learned about raising little girls:
- Brace Yourself – Girls Can Be Just as Gross as Boys.
While hanging out with my nephews, I often find myself surrounded by the typical boyish antics: farts, burps, and yard peeing. It’s expected, right? But when my daughter, adorned with ribbons in her pigtails, decides to lift her leg at the dinner table and let out a seven-second fart, it hits differently. My oldest has even mastered the art of farting on command—once resulting in a change of underwear. My husband couldn’t help but wipe a proud tear from his eye as she exclaimed, “Whoopsie! Guess I gambled and lost!” - Daily Outfit Decisions Are a Riddle.
Dressing three little girls is like solving an unsolvable riddle, with their answers changing by the second and a ticking clock in the background. I’ve long given up trying to influence their clothing choices. I simply make sure they are covered and not smelling like a public restroom. “Remember, you chose this dress, and I bought it because you liked it. Now wear it!” I say, only to hear, “But it’s so itchy!” Even after they finally select outfits, the changes don’t end there. They’ll swap clothes before breakfast, after breakfast, and sometimes even in the middle of the night! - Glitter is Pure Evil.
Glitter is like a disease—it spreads and multiplies, covering every surface in your home. You might think it’s harmless, but before you know it, you’re showing up at a meeting with a sparkly mustache. Trust me, if anything glittery crosses your threshold, it needs to be disposed of immediately. - Hair is a Battlefield.
Get ready to accept defeat when it comes to hair. It’s a daily struggle, especially after baths when the detangling begins. I thought I had mastered the ponytail until a friend introduced me to a YouTube channel with intricate hairstyles. Let’s just say my attempts at a simple braid ended in chaos, with me grasping onto her hair while she sprinted away in protest. - Be Aware of Body Image Pressures.
The future of your daughter’s self-esteem rests heavily on your shoulders. Recently, she asked if her dress would make the other kids think she was pretty. I had to resist the urge to become a hypocrite and told her that true friends love you for who you are, not what you wear. - Boys Let Emotions Out; Girls Keep Them Deep Inside.
Boys punch each other to resolve conflicts, while girls seem to plot revenge. I recall a fight with my sister that escalated far beyond a simple spat over whipped cream. The female mind is a complex and dangerous place! - They’re Overly Fancy.
One evening, my daughters decided to put on a “dance show.” What came down the stairs was a sight I can only describe as illegal in 34 states. Decked out in sequins and stilettos, they strutted their stuff with a level of confidence that would make any parent question their influence. - It’s Incredibly Fun.
At the end of the day, doing girly things like manicures, dance recitals, and fairy houses is an absolute blast. While some might think, “Boys can do that too,” I say, why not embrace the fun? After all, I know the day is coming when my daughters will want nothing to do with me, so I’ll soak up every moment while I can.
In conclusion, raising daughters can be an emotional rollercoaster filled with laughter, chaos, and glitter (which is, let’s be honest, the true devil). From navigating their fashion choices to witnessing their unique take on self-expression, it’s a journey that keeps me on my toes.
For more insights on family planning and fertility, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. And if you’re interested in home insemination, consider visiting Make a Mom for their top-quality kits.