With my son gearing up to start kindergarten soon, I’ve been feeling a bit of anxiety throughout the summer. This new chapter means the possibility of social hurdles—what if he struggles to make friends? What if he ends up alone at lunch? My husband and I were both on the shy side growing up, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s in his genes. However, studies indicate that kids who are deemed “cool” often face challenges later in life, including addiction and poor decision-making. This discovery has brought me a sense of relief—maybe aiming for coolness isn’t the best goal for our children. Here are seven reasons I’m perfectly fine with my son not being the “it” kid.
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Coolness Equals Social Dominance
From what I’ve observed, the kids labeled as “cool” often excel in manipulation rather than genuine friendship. They pit peers against one another, gaining power by keeping everyone on edge. I want my son to cultivate authentic relationships built on kindness, not as a means to climb a social ladder. -
Real Success Stems from Individual Interests
Whether your child is fascinated by the lifecycle of frogs or the nuances of Elizabethan drama, those interests might not score them popularity points. But I want my kids to be passionate about their pursuits, rather than just engaging in what they think will earn them social cred—like causing trouble at the roller rink. -
True Character Comes from Inner Guidance
Kids who are overly concerned about their social standing tend to follow the crowd instead of listening to their own moral compass. I want my son to be the one who stands up for what’s right, whether it’s intervening in a tough situation or simply being a good friend. -
Social Climbing is Time-Consuming
Focusing too much on social status can drain time and energy that could be better spent on reading, playing, or bonding with family. Let’s be honest—adults could use a lesson in this too, as we scroll through social media instead of engaging in hobbies we love! -
Mastery Requires Focus and Time Alone
If my child shows an interest in music or sports, I hope he has the dedication to practice regularly. I doubt the kids who prioritize being cool are spending their evenings perfecting their skills. -
Inclusivity Equals Respect and Happiness
I remember kids in school who didn’t play favorites; they treated everyone with kindness and were respected by all. That’s the kind of social dynamic I hope for my son—one where he’s friendly to everyone, regardless of their social standing. -
Fewer Risks from Older Kids
Research has shown that older teens often gravitate toward the “cool” kids in middle school, which can be problematic. Young kids shouldn’t be influenced by those much older; it can lead to risky behaviors that I’d rather my son avoid.
In conclusion, I’d be more than happy if my son never achieves “cool” status. In fact, I’d worry a little if he did. Our goal is to raise kids who are happy, well-adjusted, and true to themselves—what some might call the “anti-cool.”
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