Cleaning your house as a parent can sometimes feel like you’re trying to tidy up during a tornado—utterly futile. My friend once said it perfectly: you need a mountain of patience, a truckload of energy, a memory that forgets disappointments instantaneously, chocolate for bribery, some screen time (more bribery), and that one toy that’s been on timeout for days (the ultimate distraction, but only for a fleeting five minutes).
So, are you ready to conquer the chaos? Let’s dive in:
Step 1:
Gather the kids and gently remind them that juice on the floor, sandwiches for the dog, and Lego explosions are not allowed. A little bit of menace goes a long way here!
Step 2:
Tackle the dishes. This task ranks high on the list of chores we all dread. Instead of tossing everything in the trash (just kidding!), wash those dishes as quickly as you can—or load up the dishwasher if you’re lucky enough to have one. Under your breath, mutter about how your family seems to dirty every dish since breakfast.
Step 3:
Time for laundry. I absolutely loathe laundry. “Hate” doesn’t even begin to cover it. I find myself doing at least four loads daily. Forget sorting—just cram as much as you can into the washer because, let’s be real, Caillou is about to blare from the TV, and we don’t want to lose our sanity!
Step 4:
Let the kids know it’s lunch time and that the TV needs a break. They’ll enthusiastically help, of course, which translates to a massive kitchen mess. Mutters about the just-cleaned dishes will ensue, and you’ll be left questioning why the dog is feasting on your four-year-old’s plate. Chocolate is your friend right now.
Step 5:
While they munch, spring into action! Clean up the kitchen chaos as quickly as possible. Dash to the bathroom to empty the trash, gather wet towels, and yes, those boxers left on the floor—really, just three feet from the hamper?! Scrub the toilet and toss in one of those blue cleaning tablets. Race back to your lunching kiddos.
Step 6:
Time for a kitchen redo—again. The little ones turned the sink into a mini water park while “helping” with their dishes. Sweet, right? Just watch your step because there’s now a small lake forming on the floor.
Step 7:
Promise the kids outdoor playtime once you’ve finished. In the meantime, more TV. Yes, I know, too much screen time. Grab the vacuum, unravel the cord, and start cleaning while the kids sound off in the background. Keep it together; you’re a warrior!
Step 8:
Mid-vacuum, you hear a thumping from the laundry room that sounds like a monster is trying to escape. Sprint over, turn off the machine, and rearrange the overloaded laundry. Quickly return to the living room as the kids are now arguing over the remote and the cat has decided to redecorate the front door area.
Step 9:
Time for a little self-care—pour yourself a glass of wine.
Step 10:
Forget the cleaning entirely! Step outside with the kids and let them burn off that pent-up energy. Take a moment for yourself, maybe scroll through Facebook and stumble upon some great tips on cleaning houses. Who knows? You might even decide to order pizza for dinner.
And there you have it! Cleaning is a breeze, right? Just follow these ten straightforward steps, and your space can look as chaotic as mine. Next time someone jokes about cleaning with kids around, just smile and say, “Not my house!”
For more tips on navigating parenthood, check out our other post on home insemination. And if you’re looking for reliable information about fertility, this resource is excellent. Plus, for those seeking to boost their chances, Make a Mom has some valuable insights!
Summary:
Cleaning with kids is a challenge, but by following these ten steps, you can tackle the chaos with humor and a little help from some sweet distractions. Remember, it’s all about balance, and sometimes you just need to let go and enjoy the mess!