I want to start by saying I’m truly sorry for how things turned out. I wish we could have avoided the heartache that came with our separation. I know it’s been tough for you, and even though I believe this was the best decision in the long run, I can see that you would rather have us all living under one roof, even if it meant dealing with some tension. You may not realize it, but I had reached a point where I was just going through the motions of life, and now, as your mom, I can finally breathe again. I understand that at 7 and 10 years old, what you really want is for your parents to be together, and for that, I am truly sorry.
I regret the fact that you have to juggle between two homes. Even a weekend away can feel overwhelming when I’m packing—clothes, shoes, electronics, and toiletries. You’re transitioning back and forth several times a week without a single complaint. If you forget something or need something from the other house, you handle it with grace. But I know it’s exhausting, and I take full responsibility for creating this situation.
I apologize for the awkwardness you’ll experience as your dad and I start dating again. While it’s important for you to see what a healthy relationship looks like, I know that witnessing your parents with new partners can feel uncomfortable. Affection between parents can be downright cringe-worthy for kids, and I completely understand how you feel about it.
Even if we try our hardest to keep you out of any conflicts, the reality is that you’re right in the middle of it all. When you say, “No offense, Mom, but I had the best time with Dad and my cousins,” it’s okay—my heart swells whenever you have fun with your dad and his family. But I can’t help feeling a little sad knowing you might feel guilty for enjoying that time.
I’m sorry for the moments you feel lonely at bedtime, for the times you miss me in your new home, and for the confusion when you have to tell friends about having two houses. I hate that you have to relay messages between us—it’s not fair to you. You should be able to enjoy both parents without feeling like you’re stuck in the middle. As you lay in bed on your 10th birthday, tears in your eyes, wishing for just one dinner with both me and Dad, I wish I could take that pain away.
More than anything, I’m sorry that I can’t truly understand what you’re experiencing. I know the feeling of being left out, of wanting what others have, and of longing for more freedom. But being a child of divorce is a different kind of challenge, and while I can empathize and walk alongside you, I can’t fully grasp your pain. I wish I could make it right, and “sorry” feels insufficient for the hurt I’ve caused.
I hold onto hope that you will find smoother roads ahead. Life is filled with challenges, and through this pain, I know you will discover valuable lessons that shape who you are. You’ll grow up with a broader perspective, learning to see your parents as individuals rather than just mom and dad.
My love for you outweighs my guilt. Despite all the tough moments that divorce has brought, I believe it was the right choice for all of us. But still, I am so very sorry.
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Summary
This heartfelt apology from a mother to her children addresses the challenges and emotional turmoil stemming from a divorce. It reflects on the difficulties of moving between two homes, the awkwardness of new relationships, and the unique pain children of divorce face. Despite the struggles, the mother expresses her unwavering love and belief that this path was the best for the family.