Parenting Insights
By Amelia Carter
Updated: September 28, 2020
Originally Published: June 20, 2014
There’s nothing quite as adorable as a little boy with chubby hands and messy hair. One of the greatest joys of motherhood is the affection you receive from your sweet little boy. But then they hit that magical age of 11, and the fun truly begins! If you’re currently navigating toddler life, brace yourself—adolescence comes faster than you think. Once they start kindergarten, it’s a short ride to the teenage years, where things can get a little chaotic.
Here’s what you can look forward to:
The Mess and the Smell
Little boys, even when they’re covered in jelly and sporting peanut butter on their cheeks, are irresistible. Their messy outfits, while less than ideal, are somehow endearing. Cleaning up their little messes, whether it’s a runny nose or dirty feet, feels like an extension of your own mess. But then, almost overnight, they become these independent beings. Their dirt and smell become entirely their own, and you might find yourself gagging while sorting through their gym bag. Nature’s way of telling you that snuggling is now just too weird.
The Brawls
My two oldest sons were once inseparable buddies, and I took pride in their bond. But as they transitioned into their teenage years, their disputes turned into all-out brawls. Picture this: one brother goes for the jugular, targeting grades, hair, or height, aiming for that knockout punch. These days, it’s not unusual to find them grappling on the kitchen floor. When I separate them, I can see their hearts racing in their necks. This phase had me worried for a long time—I even shed a few tears in the bathroom. But my husband reminded me, “Until the testosterone settles, we’re basically living with two young bucks clashing over territory.” I was instructed to watch Animal Planet if I needed more proof.
The Distance
If toddlers had smartphones, their text exchanges with mom would look like this:
Kid: I love you more than pizza.
Mom: I love you too!
Kid: Can’t wait to see you after school.
Mom: Same! Let’s go to the park!
Kid: Will you push me on the swings?
Fast forward to the teenage years:
Mom: How was school?
Teenager: Fine. What’s for dinner?
I often check my boys’ phones—it’s a rule as long as I’m footing the bill. I’m always surprised to see that my teenager, whose texting skills seem limited to “what’s for dinner,” can actually engage in full conversations with his friends. Talk about a double life!
The Amplification
While I can’t cite scientific evidence, I firmly believe that whatever characteristics your son has as a child will only magnify during the teen years. If he’s argumentative, prepare for some serious debates that’ll make you feel like you’re living with a mini lawyer. A mischievous toddler? Brace yourself for a teenager who’s even more of a troublemaker. And if he was a bit on the lazy side, expect dust to settle around him on the couch.
The Negativity
You might find it hard to believe, but there will be days when you just won’t enjoy being around your teenage boy. You’ll always love him, of course, but that doesn’t mean you’ll relish his company. It’s as if those hormones have transformed your sweet, sticky child into someone you thought only existed in after-school specials. You once cradled him in your arms, wiped his nose, and sang him to sleep. Now, you’re counting down the minutes until he exits your car.
But here’s the silver lining: puberty eventually reveals the sweet boy again, little by little. You’ll catch glimpses of that adorable child buried beneath the hairy arms and legs—and the aftershave smell isn’t half bad. One day, he might text you, “Want to grab dinner after baseball?” and it’ll feel like you’ve hit the jackpot after what seemed like an endless storm.
In my view, the teenage years are a metamorphosis. The once-adorable caterpillar might be hard to look at in its cocoon, but as my oldest emerges, I’m beginning to see that the wings on the other side are truly something special. Suddenly, he’s back to being likable and fun, spending more time outside of his room than in it. Eventually, he may even leave the nest—and that’ll tug at your heartstrings.
For more about navigating this journey, check out this excellent resource on infertility and home insemination. And if you’re looking for tools to help with your journey, BabyMaker has you covered. Don’t forget to read our privacy policy for more insights.