Updated: Aug. 21, 2023
Originally Published: Dec. 22, 2013
My partner and I have one of those coffee machines that uses those little pods. You just hit a button, and voilà—coffee. Sure, they’re not the best for the environment, and there are a ton of reasons we should probably switch to a more sustainable option. But the truth is, we can’t seem to settle on a new coffee maker, so we keep relying on this one. We’re simply too drained to make yet another decision, so each morning, we push that button, grateful for the caffeine and for one less thing to ponder.
Just the other day, I faced a classic moment of decision fatigue while trying to brew that much-needed cup of coffee. All I had to do was push a button—something even a monkey could manage. But it turned out I wasn’t as clever as I thought, as I forgot to place the cup under the spout.
Coffee ended up spilling all over the counter instead of landing in my mug. Watching that mess unfold, I realized just how exhausted I truly am. For years, I’ve blamed my fatigue on the demands of raising young children—endless runny noses, sleepless nights, and tiny feet invading my personal space at dawn. No doubt, those factors contribute to my physical tiredness. However, what’s really wearing me down is a more insidious form of fatigue—decision fatigue.
As I’ve been learning, decision fatigue is a psychological phenomenon where an individual’s ability to make choices deteriorates after a long session of decision-making. Even minor decisions become overwhelming in their quantity. I find my mind short-circuiting. I can’t even recall the name of the machine that dispenses my morning brew. What is it called again?
I recently read about how influential figures, like President Obama, simplify their lives by wearing the same outfit daily to conserve mental energy for the more significant choices they face. This resonates with me. If I can’t muster the brainpower to decide on a new coffee maker, how will I tackle the big issues? I fear becoming so bogged down by trivialities that I lose sight of my role as a leader in my family—teaching love, kindness, and how to make their own choices.
A Morning Symphony of Questions
Each morning kicks off with a symphony of sounds: coos, cries, and little feet racing around, followed by a barrage of questions:
- 5:59 AM: Can I play Mario?
- 6:02 AM: Baby cries. What does she need?
- 6:03 AM: Mommy, where are my Legos?
- 6:12 AM: Can I play Mario?
- 6:15 AM: Do I have school today?
- 6:22 AM: Can I play Mario?
- 6:29 AM: Did I brush my teeth yet? Should I brush them again?
- 6:30 AM: Can I play Mario?
- 6:37 AM: Baby again—diaper change. Did I change her before?
- 6:45 AM: When is breakfast?
- 6:46 AM: What is breakfast?
- 6:49 AM: What are we doing today?
- 6:51 AM: What is the weather today?
- 6:53 AM: Where are my shoes?
- 6:54 AM: Where is my coat?
- 6:59 AM: Why is Mario not working?
In that first hour alone, I make decisions for four different people every four minutes. It barely leaves time for me to do basics like pee, get dressed, maybe turn on the coffee maker, and ponder more profound life questions—like why on Earth isn’t Mario functioning?
As I mop up the coffee mess with dish towels, I realize I’m not handling this well. I’m tired for all the wrong reasons. I think about my “mom uniform,” a simple choice that would ease my decision-making burden. The allure of yoga pants makes sense in a world fraught with choices. But beyond clothing, I wish I could bounce their questions back at them, helping them navigate their own choices. My role isn’t to make every decision for them but to guide them in sifting through life’s noise to figure out what truly matters.
And in those moments, I often learn alongside my children. My most meaningful decision of the day? Choosing to love them enough to let them tackle their challenges. I encourage them to find the pajamas, figure out Mario’s issues, and choose their own snacks. While we navigate these small hurdles, I’m saving my energy for what truly counts—building a strong family unit and tackling the more significant challenges ahead.
As we celebrate the joys of Chanukah, making latkes and memories, I find I have just enough energy left for that. If you’re looking for more insight into parenting, check out this post on decision fatigue, or take a look at this reliable resource on pregnancy and home insemination. For those interested in at-home options, this retailer offers excellent kits for insemination.
Summary
Motherhood often leads to a unique type of exhaustion known as decision fatigue, where the sheer volume of daily choices can overwhelm even the busiest moms. The article explores how this fatigue manifests in everyday tasks and highlights the importance of teaching children about decision-making while conserving mental energy for more significant challenges.
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