Parenting Insight
SANCTIMOMMY, Noun
A self-satisfied, know-it-all parent who can’t resist flaunting their parenting choices through sly remarks that highlight the shortcomings of others.
Synonyms: Buzzkill, Fun Sucker, Pearl Clutcher, Pretentious Parent
Physical Traits
Identifying a Sanctimommy by looks alone is tricky, as these self-righteous behaviors can be found in a diverse range of individuals, regardless of background. However, there are five common gestures to watch out for:
- Raised eyebrows
- Puckered lips
- Finger pointing
- Audible sighs
- Tightly clenched buttocks
Habitats
Sanctimommies thrive in various locations where they can share their unsolicited advice and showcase their perceived superiority. Some frequent spots include:
- Parks
- Playgroups
- Grocery stores
- Target (both parking lot and inside)
- Parenting websites (especially humor sites with active comment sections)
- Daycare centers
- Schools (particularly during pick-up, drop-off, recitals, or open houses)
- Birthday parties
Social Behavior
These individuals are social butterflies, often positioning themselves centrally within groups to dominate discussions. Their remarkable skill lies in transforming almost any topic into a monologue about themselves. Here are five classic phrases you might hear:
- “You should feel SO BLESSED.”
- “MY kids would never do that.”
- “I didn’t even bother reading that article; it’s just so dumb.”
- “I’ve never faced this issue; it’s ridiculous.”
- “Ugh. This is just stupid.”
Trigger Topics
Certain subjects can instantly provoke a Sanctimommy to leap into action, sharing their parenting beliefs and practices. Watch out for discussions on:
- Anyone sharing parenting experiences online.
- Vaccines, organic diets, screen time, or sleep training.
- The notion that parenting can be tiring.
- Employing a babysitter.
- Nostalgia for life before kids.
- Admitting you don’t always feel SO BLESSED.
- Mentioning that it’s 2 p.m.—isn’t it time for a glass of wine?
- Finding humor in parenting challenges.
- Daring to parent without a well-documented philosophy.
- Sharing funny e-cards about parenthood on Facebook.
CAUTION
Approach a Sanctimommy at your own risk! While they aren’t physically threatening, their unpredictable reactions to challenges may include self-pity, preaching, excessive use of ALL CAPS, and citing celebrities in poorly structured arguments. They might even declare the topic at hand to be utterly foolish.
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In summary, Sanctimommies are easily identifiable by their smug behavior and tendency to dominate discussions with their parenting philosophies. They can be found in various environments and are triggered by a range of topics related to parenting. Proceed with caution if you encounter one, and always be ready for their dramatic responses!