My son has a collection of trophies that would make any parent do a double-take. Okay, maybe not the biggest in the world, but it sure feels like it when you consider how many kids out there have similar displays of “participation” awards. By the time he wrapped up elementary school, he had enough shiny accolades to convince anyone he was the superstar of the playground.
Now, let’s be real—my son wasn’t exactly winning gold medals in sports. He once asked his coach if he could sit out because his uniform was too scratchy, and during the community soccer tournament, he might have tripped over the ball more times than any 8-year-old should. Yet here he is, proudly displaying trophies that say he was an “awesome athlete.”
While I definitely celebrate efforts and am all for giving my child a confidence boost, I can’t help but wonder if these awards really mean something. Are we teaching our kids that simply showing up is enough? After all, I know a college professor who has had multiple parents contact her, baffled as to why their brilliant kids didn’t get an A. Maybe it’s because they didn’t earn it!
I want my son to understand that hard work and actual achievement are what truly count. Sure, it would be great if adult life operated on the “everybody gets a trophy” model—imagine applying for your dream job just by showing up or getting accepted into a top PhD program without any real effort.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t support our kids or make them feel loved. However, the next time your little one is upset because their friend won first place while they went home empty-handed, calmly explain that not everyone can win all the time. That shiny trophy may sparkle, but “winning” it just by being present doesn’t really inspire anyone to strive for success. I love my son dearly and want the best for him, which includes learning to put in the effort to achieve his goals.
By the time he’s 20, I certainly don’t want to be the mom emailing his professors demanding an A on his assignments. What I truly hope is that he grasps the importance of hard work and determination in reaching his dreams.
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In summary, while it’s nice to encourage participation, it’s essential to balance that with teaching kids that effort and achievement truly matter. By fostering a mindset of hard work, we can help our children grow into determined adults who understand the value of earning their success.