I adore my pediatrician. She’s a charming, sophisticated woman who exudes kindness and once, before I had insurance, allowed me to pay her with hugs. Sure, she sent me a bill later, but she handled my embarrassed tears with grace. I cherish her so much that even after moving away, I still make the exhausting drive for our appointments twice a year. However, there’s one thing she does that drives me up the wall: at the end of every visit, she asks, in a mix of English and French, when I plan to give my daughter a sibling, insisting that kids need siblings.
But it’s not just her. I’ve noticed that there’s a period in many women’s lives, usually between their twenties and thirties, when everyone suddenly wants to know about their reproductive choices. After having one child, the inquiries about when I’ll be adding more little tax deductions to our family flood in. The answer? Never. Seriously, never. I might even consider tattooing my reasons on my forehead to avoid these questions.
1. Sleep is Sacred
My top reason for not wanting another child is simple: I value my sleep. I love it so much that I’d marry it if I could. My daughter is finally reaching the age where she sleeps through the night consistently—unless she’s sick or having nightmares. The thought of starting over with a newborn who screams all night makes me feel anxious, and only a lot of wine can calm those nerves. Thankfully, I can sleep it off.
2. Sibling Relationships Aren’t Always Ideal
I don’t really hate my siblings, but let’s just say we have a mixed bag of relationships. People love to tell me how wonderful their sibling bonds were, but I suspect that nostalgia can cloud memories. My brother and I only became close as adults after years of sibling rivalry. The truth is, family dynamics can be complicated, and I’m not convinced that having more kids guarantees better relationships.
3. Financial Freedom is Important
Kids are expensive. I knew this when I had my first, but the reality hit hard when I realized I’d be financially responsible for her until she was at least 18. From diapers to dance classes and later, college tuition—it’s a lot. I promised myself that my daughter wouldn’t have to graduate with a mountain of debt like I did. More kids would mean tighter budgets and fewer opportunities for her.
4. Pregnancy is Not for Me
Let’s be honest: I despise being pregnant. I’d rather endure a painful medical procedure than experience those nine months again. I mean, who wouldn’t pick a marathon of sitcoms over morning sickness?
5. I Fear I’d Play Favorites
I worry that I would inevitably play favorites or feel resentment towards a new baby. I’m not a saint; I’m aware of my own tendencies. We impulsively got a puppy a few years ago, and I still secretly resent him for demanding so much attention. A baby would be like that, but magnified by a million.
6. My Child is Content Alone
While my daughter isn’t terrible, she’s perfectly happy being an only child. I have a friend with a toddler who requires constant supervision, and my daughter often retreats to her room, writing poetry about feeling alone. When people ask if she wants a sibling, she gives them a look that could kill. I understand her perspective; introducing a new baby into the mix could create chaos.
7. I Don’t Need an Heir
Someone once asked me if I was disappointed I didn’t have a son to carry on the family name. I stared at them, unsure if I could suppress my urge to react violently. My daughter carries my genes just fine; the idea that only boys can perpetuate lineage is outdated and ridiculous.
8. I Simply Don’t Want To
At the end of the day, I love big families. I get the charm of chaos and noise, having grown up in a household with 11 siblings. But this is what works for me and my family. I’m sure some think I’m doing my daughter a disservice, but I believe that family can look many different ways—whether it’s a couple with one child, two, or even a whole crew, it’s all valid. And if I had another kid now, trust me, the questions about a third would start before they were out of diapers.
In conclusion, I’m confident in my decision and don’t feel the need to justify it to anyone. My family is complete as it is.
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