As the proud parent of three little ones—a 6-month-old, a 5-year-old, and a 7-year-old—I adore my kids, but let’s be real: parenting can be a wild ride. Friends without kids often pose questions that, while well-meaning, can be downright frustrating. After hearing the same things year after year, I’m ready to set the record straight. Here are the top 7 questions that drive me up the wall:
1. “How do you handle three kids?”
What were you expecting? A detailed survival guide? The transition from two to three kids felt like trying to swim while someone tosses a baby into the mix. There are days when I contemplate parking the minivan with its chorus of chaos and just running for the hills. So how do I manage? Not as well as you might think. Happy now?
2. “Do your kids ever squabble?”
Seriously? Did you grow up with siblings? Of course they fight—over everything! Just last week, I had to break up a wrestling match over who could smell the other’s fart. Yes, my kiddos bicker. When they’re not at each other’s throats, I can only assume they’re plotting something nefarious… like robbing me of my sanity.
3. “Did you catch the latest episode of that TV show?”
This might seem unrelated, but it’s not. I lost control over the remote long ago. Last night, I was treated to a marathon of Yo-Gabba-Gabba followed by Pokémon. If it’s not animated or features a puppet, you can bet I haven’t seen it.
4. “Why are your eyes so red? Did the kids keep you up all night?”
Oh, you bet they did! I spent two hours changing wet sheets and hunting down Bun Bun (yes, the stuffed bunny). If a parent looks exhausted, just assume it’s the kids’ fault and save your comments.
5. “Do your kids ever talk back?”
Oh no, they’re perfect little angels! Just yesterday, my 5-year-old called me a “fart-face” for not letting her binge-watch Netflix. And my 7-year-old told my wife she “sucked” for denying him an ice cream sandwich. I didn’t teach them those words—believe me, I promptly sent them to their rooms.
6. “What’s that white stuff on your shirt?”
Puke. It’s always puke. If it’s not white, it’s probably something worse. I have a baby, so just deal with it.
7. “I bet there’s a lot of love in your home, right?”
Mostly, there’s just a lot of mess—poo, boogers, and sticky surfaces. But yes, when I walk in the door, my son leaps into my arms, which is pure joy. My daughter shows off her latest dance moves, and the baby is just adorable kicking her legs and squealing with delight.
What about you? What are the most absurd questions you’ve been asked about parenting? If you’re looking for more insights into the world of baby-making, check out this link, or dive into this resource for tips on fertility. For a deeper understanding of pregnancy and home insemination, this article is a fantastic resource.
Summary: Parenting can be a wild and chaotic experience, and it often comes with some truly ridiculous questions from those without kids. From managing multiple children to dealing with their squabbles and the mess of everyday life, it’s not always easy. But amidst the chaos, there are moments of pure joy and love that make it all worthwhile.