This morning, I found myself observing Mia in a fierce struggle with her socks. They were inside out, and she was determined to flip them right side out and put them on by herself. I gently offered assistance, but she quickly retorted with a familiar phrase: “No! I can do it myself!”
It’s often said that as parents, we end up reflecting the same behaviors we exhibited as kids. As I listened to her words, I couldn’t help but recall how much my own parents must have found my stubbornness frustrating at that age—and how it still feels a bit annoying to carry that trait into adulthood. I often walk around like a robot mom, plastering on a smile while telling everyone, including my family, friends, husband, and even myself, that I don’t need help. I can manage everything—getting the kids to the bus, feeding the baby through sleepless nights, packing lunches, preparing homemade dinners, and even crafting fun projects. “I can do it all! Seriously, I’ve got this!”
Except, of course, when I don’t.
The Challenge of Solo Parenting
This past week was tough. My partner, Jake, was finally back home after a long business trip from Monday to Friday. Though he had traveled before since our little one, Zoe, was born, this was his first extended absence, and our usual family support had long since departed. I found myself alone with all three kids, constantly on duty. It felt like I was an unending news cycle—like CNN but without the glamor.
Jake left around 8 AM on Monday, and by noon, I realized I needed to lower my expectations. Sure, laundry might get done, but it would pile up in fluffy mountains around the house. We might barely catch the school bus, but if we drove, we would arrive just in time for the first bell. Homework would get finished, and the kids would be fed—even if that meant scrambled eggs for dinner most nights. On a Mommy and Mia day home together, when she asked why we weren’t doing anything, I rallied and we whipped up hamantaschen for Purim. We only managed to make six, but hey, it was something we did together.
Learning to Say Yes
By Wednesday, I knew my mantra of low expectations wasn’t going to cut it. I had to accept help, which felt even scarier than a toddler tantrum. It was like trying to flip those socks as an adult—just picture me, all grown up and just as stubborn.
So when our neighbor offered to walk my son, Oliver, to the bus stop, I said yes. When a friend called to see if she could drop off dinner, I said yes and enjoyed that delicious meal for a couple of nights (and maybe even for breakfast). When another friend offered to bring Mia home from piano class, I said yes, and when yet another amazing friend asked if she could cuddle Zoe while I savored a large coffee with both hands, you guessed it—I said yes.
Such a tiny word, yet life-changing. How embarrassing that it took me 36 years to realize this. That one simple “yes” helped me survive until Friday, the moment when Jake came home and understood that I needed a break. So, as I grabbed my keys, I called up to him, “Need anything?” to which he replied, “Just you.”
“That’s easy,” I said, “I’ll go get her. Be back in an hour.” I need him. I need her. I need them all—yes.
Resources for Aspiring Parents
If you’re exploring your options for becoming a parent, consider checking out Intracervical Insemination for helpful resources. Also, Make a Mom is a great authority on this topic. And if you’re curious about various pregnancy treatments, WebMD is an excellent resource to guide you.
Conclusion
In summary, accepting help can be transformative in parenting. It’s okay to lean on others, and sometimes that simple word “yes” can change everything.