Lately, I’ve come across some amusing articles comparing the quest for new mom friends to the dating scene. There’s the flirty banter, the casual vibe in conversations to avoid coming off as uptight, and even the effort to appear non-judgmental by listing all the things you don’t judge—much like that guy at the bar insisting he’s not a creep.
Now that moms have mastered the art of connecting with fellow moms, I’m here to share some essential advice on what NOT to do when you meet that one mom who seems to tick all the boxes. You know the one: you both roll your eyes at overpriced baby gear, share a love for hilarious cat memes, and frequent that adorable coffee shop near the park where your kids enjoy playing together. You’re all set to invite her to your monthly girls’ night, and then—suddenly—she ghosts you.
She’s just not that into you.
Yep, just like dating. And, just like in dating, the expectation is to keep your cool and move on to the next potential mom friend without holding a grudge, portraying yourself as the mature one in this scenario.
So, if you’re truly going to take the high road after a friend breakup, here are some tips for handling the situation gracefully:
- No Facebook Stalking: Okay, “stalking” might be a bit dramatic, but you really shouldn’t check your friend request status 23 times. Chances are, it’s not going to change—because she’s just not that into you.
- Avoid Gossiping: Don’t bring up her aloofness or weird behavior with mutual friends. It’s probably not the best idea to note that she hasn’t been at that coffee shop lately. Remember, she’s just not that into you.
- Maintain Your Dignity: Please, for the sake of your self-respect, don’t ignore her at the kids’ games. Don’t be that mom who pretends she doesn’t see her; she can clearly see you chatting with everyone else around. Just remember, she’s just not that into you.
- Don’t Take It Personally: When you spot her laughing with another new mom at the playground, try not to let jealousy creep in. Perhaps they are just a better match. Maybe you were trying too hard or maybe she just isn’t the right fit for you. It’s okay to admit that a mediocre friendship isn’t meant to be.
When I first heard the phrase “she’s just not that into you,” I wondered what kind of person would drop a friendship so easily. The truth is, that person likely wasn’t much of a friend to begin with. It’s empowering to shift the focus away from your feelings of rejection and realize that her inability to appreciate your awesomeness is her loss.
For more insights on navigating friendships with fellow moms, check out our post on friendship dynamics. If you’re on a fertility journey, consider visiting Make a Mom for at-home insemination kits, and don’t forget to explore ACOG for comprehensive resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, if a mom friend isn’t reciprocating your efforts, it’s probably for a reason. Instead of dwelling on it, turn your attention to finding connections that are mutually enjoyable. After all, you deserve friendships that uplift you.
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