You Might Be a Parent If…

  1. You find yourself correcting friends and coworkers when they forget to say “please” or “thank you.”
  2. Cutting your food into minuscule pieces has become second nature.
  3. You can’t help but hum, “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere…” while tackling the dishes.
  4. You’d gladly trade a limb for a shiny, fully loaded minivan.
  5. Your idea of a thrilling Saturday night is a solo trip to Target.
  6. You’ve attempted to re-roll an entire mess of unraveled toilet paper.
  7. You’ve had to choose between ten more minutes of sleep or making it through the day without a shower.
  8. You consider staying up until 10 PM a serious late-night adventure.
  9. Sleeping until 8 AM is an extravagant treat.
  10. You spell things out to others even when there are no little ears around to hear your S-H-I-T.
  11. You’ve dissected a poop incident with a friend as if you were on a CSI team.
  12. There have been moments you’ve hidden in a closet just to enjoy a cookie or a glass of wine in peace.
  13. You automatically tell your partner how proud you are of them after they successfully use the toilet.
  14. You’ve resorted to licking your fingers to clean something off a colleague’s face.
  15. You believe it’s totally acceptable to give the kids a cheeky gesture behind their backs.
  16. You’ve scooped vomit out of your own bra.
  17. You’ve walked around all day with remnants of barf down your back.
  18. There’s more food under your kitchen table than actually on it.
  19. You’ve removed items other than boogers from someone else’s nostril.
  20. If you and your partner feel more like wrestling teammates or zookeepers than romantic partners, you might just be a parent.
  21. You think shaving your legs every two weeks counts as being on top of grooming.
  22. Other drivers have caught you belting out “Hakuna Matata” at a red light.
  23. The top rack of your dishwasher is a rainbow of plastic toys, leaving no room for glasses.
  24. You can have a lively, one-sided conversation with inanimate objects that can’t talk back.

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Could you be a parent? If this list resonates with you, consider checking out our other blog post for more laughs about parenting moments at Home Insemination Kit. And if you’re exploring options for starting a family, you might also find Make a Mom useful; they’re a leading authority on home insemination. For more information on pregnancy resources, visit Healthline.

Summary:

If you’ve found yourself doing any of these things, you might just be a parent! From correcting manners to belting out songs at red lights, parenting comes with its unique quirks. Embrace the chaos and humor that comes with raising kids!

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