We had a fantastic conversation, and in fact, Alex was one of several individuals who motivated me to explore meditation. (I delve into this in detail in my upcoming book on habits, Before and After.) His witty and insightful book about his meditation journey, 10% Happier: How I Conquered the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works, is set to release next month.
I knew Alex had extensively pondered the link between habits and happiness and how we can use habits to cultivate joy, so I was keen to hear his insights. What’s a simple habit that consistently elevates your happiness?
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be someone to endorse this, but my answer is…meditation. I’d always presumed that meditation was reserved for robe-wearing gurus, psychedelic enthusiasts, Enya fans, and those with yurts in their backyards. But then I discovered the avalanche of scientific research showcasing the practice’s impressive benefits, from lowering blood pressure to enhancing immune function and even rewiring the brain for happiness. Furthermore, I learned that it doesn’t require sitting cross-legged, burning incense, or chanting in Sanskrit. (If anyone’s interested, I’ve shared simple meditation instructions.)
I began with just five minutes a day and quickly noticed three significant benefits:
- Improved focus,
- A heightened sense of tranquility, and
- A remarkable ability to snap myself out of ruminating thoughts about the past or future and return to the present moment.
“I generally can’t create or break habits unless there’s compelling self-interest involved.”
As time went on—I’ve now been practicing for about four years, dedicating 35 minutes each day—a more profound benefit emerged: I developed a different relationship with the voice in my head. You know the one I mean. It’s the voice that tempts us to raid the fridge when we’re not hungry, distracts us while we’re supposedly engaging with others, and makes us lose our cool only to regret it later. The ability to observe our thoughts without automatically reacting—often referred to as “mindfulness”—is a superpower.
I’m not claiming that meditation is a cure-all. I still engage in plenty of silly behaviors—my partner can vouch for that. But this practice has undeniably made me happier, calmer, and kinder. In fact, I wrote an entire book aimed at making meditation appealing to those who aren’t hippies or monks, titled 10% Happier.
What’s something you understand now about building healthy habits that you didn’t grasp at 18?
I’ll start by admitting that I’m no expert on habit theory or science, which is why I’m eagerly anticipating your upcoming book. That said, a neuroscientist friend once told me, “The brain is a pleasure-seeking machine.” Typically, we gravitate toward what makes us feel good. What I’ve learned (or think I’ve learned) about habit formation since my youth is that I usually can’t create or break habits without a strong self-interest involved—in other words, unless it brings me joy, either directly or indirectly.
For instance, with meditation, I was inspired to adopt the habit because of the scientific evidence supporting its benefits—plus I’ve been able to maintain it because, while meditating can be challenging, the “off-the-cushion” (to use a meditative term) benefits are so evident to me.
Do you have any habits that consistently obstruct your happiness?
Absolutely. Two major culprits:
- Multitasking: I’m well aware of the studies showing that our brains can’t effectively focus on more than one task at a time, and multitasking significantly hampers efficiency and productivity. Yet, I still find myself juggling emails, social media, phone calls, and whatever work I should be doing.
- Mindless eating: I strive to maintain a healthy diet, but I’m a sucker for pasta, cheeseburgers, and cookies—and when I’m in a binge mode, it’s tough to stop. These episodes are often followed by a shame spiral.
“In the midst of intense work sprints, I often notice that my inner dialogue becomes harsher and more self-critical, and I also find myself indulging in pancakes at Cracker Barrel.”
In theory, meditation should aid in addressing these issues since it teaches us to focus intently on whatever we’re doing in the moment. Unfortunately, I still struggle. Hence the title of my book (10% Happier, etc.).
Which habits do you prioritize for health, creativity, productivity, and leisure?
Aside from meditation, the habit that contributes most to my happiness (other than spending time with my partner, Sam—does that count as a habit?) is exercise. If I don’t maintain a regular workout routine, I start feeling a bit off-kilter. Sometimes, when I become restless and irritable at home, Sam literally pushes me to go for a run.
Have you ever successfully broken an unhealthy habit? If so, how did you accomplish it?
In my early thirties, as a young reporter, I spent many years covering wars, reporting from various conflict zones. After one particularly intense stint in a war-torn area, I fell into a depression. In a moment of poor judgment, I began self-medicating with substances like cocaine and ecstasy—not in a Wolf of Wall Street style, but sporadically on weekends. I had never been much of a partier before this period. In retrospect, it was partly an attempt to recreate the adrenaline rush of the war zone.
A side effect of this lifestyle—my doctor later explained—was that these substances heightened adrenaline levels in my brain, likely triggering a panic attack during a live broadcast. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t used drugs in weeks; the effects lingered.
The therapist I consulted insisted that I needed to stop using drugs immediately. Faced with the potential end of my career, quitting became a clear choice. It was challenging, but I stopped right then and was greatly supported by my doctor. Yet again, my motivation stemmed from self-interest.
Does anything typically hinder your ability to maintain healthy habits?
The most significant and persistent barrier to my meditation and exercise habits is often my frequent work travel—especially when I’m on the road covering breaking news. During major events, like the Newtown school shooting or the Boston Marathon bombings, we barely have time to eat or sleep, let alone work out or meditate. During these intense work periods, I often find that my inner voice becomes more critical and self-doubting, and I can’t resist indulging in pancakes at Cracker Barrel.
That said, I derive immense satisfaction from covering breaking news. It’s hard to overstate how much I love my job. So, it’s a trade-off.
Have you ever made a “flash change,” suddenly altering a significant habit due to a book, a conversation, a milestone birthday, or a health scare?
Funny you should ask. In response to your earlier question about what I knew about habit formation at 18—the truth is, I knew next to nothing. However, during the summer after high school, I experienced a “flash change.” I distinctly remember the moment. While driving to meet friends, I decided—out of the blue—that after years of being an underachiever, I was going to truly commit to my next life phase. And I did. When my father saw my first college report card, he was overwhelmed with emotion.
Interestingly, my college success hasn’t significantly impacted my television career; I doubt any employer has ever checked my transcripts or grades. But that impulsive decision to change while driving through suburban Massachusetts in the summer of 1989 established a long-lasting habit of diligence and ambition. Ironically, this ambition has sometimes led me to dive headfirst into high-stress situations without considering the psychological toll—which subsequently resulted in substance use and a panic attack. I’ve found that meditation has greatly assisted me in finding a better balance between striving and stress. I’m convinced it’s possible to excel without losing oneself. Mindfulness has truly given me an edge.
Has anyone significantly influenced your habits?
My partner and I have a profound impact on each other’s habits. When one of us embarks on a health kick, the other usually follows suit. Overall, I’d say she has more influence over me than I do over her. For example, while she doesn’t meditate often, I’ve had the good sense not to push it on her.
The most valuable habit I’ve adopted from Sam (who is a compassionate doctor) is kindness. When we first met, I had the unfortunate habit of occasionally being snippy with uncooperative customer service representatives or grumpy cab drivers. I sometimes got so lost in my thoughts that I failed to acknowledge those around me, like our doorman or the friendly dry cleaner employees.
“Not being a jerk is the most important and rewarding habit I’ve ever developed.”
Not long after I reluctantly embraced meditation, I discovered a specific type designed to foster kindness—compassion meditation. At first glance, it seemed overly sentimental and annoying. It involves visualizing people (friends, neighbors, colleagues) and sending them good vibes. Encouraged by my partner’s constructive feedback and the scientific evidence supporting compassion meditation, I decided to give it a try.
It’s transformed my life. I’m not claiming to be a saint; rather, prioritizing kindness, attempting to see things from others’ perspectives, and enjoying more positive interactions feels genuinely rewarding. (There’s that self-interest again.) Not being a jerk is the most significant and satisfying habit I’ve ever formed. The remarkable thing about meditation is that, despite decades of cultural stereotypes, it’s essentially exercise for the mind—like bicep curls for your brain. Regardless of age, we aren’t stuck with the less desirable aspects of our personalities. We can reshape our brains in many beneficial ways.
This reminds me of a sign that once hung in my favorite record store in Boston, Newbury Comics: “All dates can change. So can you.”
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In summary, transforming my relationship with the voice in my head through meditation has led to greater happiness, calmness, and kindness, and it’s shown me that change is always possible.