Updated: Dec. 26, 2015
Originally Published: Oct. 23, 2014
Let’s dive into a tricky question: How do we allow ourselves to deviate from a good habit without completely tossing it aside? Sometimes, we want to break a habit—maybe to seize a unique opportunity or celebrate a special moment.
One great strategy for this scenario is the “planned exception.” This approach helps us avoid making impulsive choices. As adults, we set our own rules and can consciously decide to step away from our usual habits if we plan ahead.
When we establish a planned exception, we regain a sense of control. We’re not just whimsically breaking a habit or scrambling to find excuses at the last minute. This control often leads to greater happiness.
Planned exceptions are most effective when they are limited or have a clear endpoint. Just this morning, a friend shared how he applied a mindful exception to his usual low-carb diet while on vacation.
Many folks tell themselves, “I’m on vacation; I deserve a treat!” and then toss their healthy eating habits out the window. But my friend wanted to indulge without going overboard.
“When I was staying at a cozy cabin in Montana, I ate nearly all my meals at a place famous for its pies,” he reminisced. “People traveled from far and wide for these delights. Before leaving New York City, I decided on my pie policy.”
What was his pie policy, you ask? One slice at each meal! Here’s how he navigated this delicious dilemma:
- “If I’m in Montana, then I’ll eat this way.” Setting up an “if-then” plan is super effective. By deciding in advance how to treat himself, he made it easier when the moment arrived. Plus, limiting the exception to Montana kept it in check—he wasn’t about to fly back just for pie.
- “I get one slice with each meal, but only one slice.” Yes, he enjoyed pie at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but just a single slice each time. Clear-cut rules like this eliminate confusion and the need for decision-making in the moment.
- “I didn’t take any pie back to the cabin; I could only eat it at the restaurant.” In previous years, he’d sometimes skip dessert at a meal and take pie back to gorge on later. While that might feel tempting, keeping track of what you eat is crucial. One slice per meal? Easy math! Monitoring oneself is a key habit strategy, as it helps us stay on track.
- “Sure, I broke my low-carb rule for pie—but just pie.” After a few days, he considered ice cream, but knowing himself, he realized that if he added ice cream to the mix, it might spiral into bread and pasta too. So, he limited himself to pie only.
- “I knew I’d enjoy my vacation more if I had the pie.” It’s vital to avoid feeling deprived when trying to maintain good habits. If we start thinking “I deserve this,” we may end up treating ourselves in unhealthy ways. By allowing himself to indulge in a controlled manner, my friend enjoyed his vacation to the fullest without falling into that trap of feeling cheated.
Note: My friend is an Abstainer, and this strategy worked wonders for him. Abstainers often thrive when they stick to their rules rather than attempting moderation. On the flip side, I’m a total Abstainer myself, but I’ve learned that I’m a bit of an extreme personality in this regard. Surprise!
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In Summary:
Breaking a good habit occasionally doesn’t have to lead to chaos. By planning exceptions with clear limits, you can indulge mindfully without derailing your healthy habits. Enjoying a treat while maintaining control is key.
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