Welcome to the “Mom Tribe,” a space for everyday moms like me who are tired of the relentless competition and judgment from those outside our circle. Before you apply, make sure you abide by these essential guidelines:
- No Prepping. Don’t tidy up your home before our gatherings. If your space looks like a magazine cover, you’re out. And if you expect us to clean for you, well, you’re out too!
- Use the Term “Meetings.” When you’re planning a lunch, coffee, or wine date with fellow moms, refer to it as a “very important meeting.” If you’re too straightforward with your plans, you might just find yourself on the outside looking in.
- No Critiquing Other Kids. Even if another mom is venting about her own little one, don’t join in. She can say what she wants about her child, but you can’t. Just nod, compliment her parenting skills, and pour some more wine.
- No Overblowing Fake Holidays. Valentine’s Day? St. Patrick’s Day? Come on—those aren’t real holidays! A light celebration is fine, maybe with a cheeky drink, but please, no elaborate decorations or themed crafts. And for heaven’s sake, don’t hand out gifts from leprechauns or glittery nonsense. We’ll have to kick you out if you do.
- Don’t Overcommit. It’s great to pitch in (and you definitely should), but avoid being the mom who does it all. Too much volunteering just breeds resentment, and we need time for our “meetings!”
- Invest in Yourself. Think of it as “sharpening the saw.” This isn’t about spa days or retail therapy—it’s about self-care! Call it a refinement day or personal development. Outsiders might misunderstand otherwise.
- Keep Fellow Moms in the Loop. If you’ve had “the talk” with your kids about sex, revealed the truth about Santa, or decided to get your tween a phone, give us a heads-up! We need to brace ourselves for the inevitable questions.
- Don’t Drag Us into Your Parenting Duties. Sure, we can babysit occasionally, but please don’t expect us to attend your child’s events, whether it’s a dance recital or a spelling bee. We have our own burdens to carry!
- No Judgment or Unsolicited Advice. Have strong feelings about breast vs. bottle, potty training timelines, or the stay-at-home vs. working debate? Keep it to yourself. We’re all just trying to survive this wild parenting adventure. Unless someone asks for your thoughts, zip it!
- Don’t Showcase Others’ Shortcomings. If you’re doing any of the things we’re all secretly struggling with—like cooking gourmet meals or keeping a spotless house—don’t mention it in front of our partners. Seriously, keep that to yourself!
Think you can follow these unwritten rules? The initiation may be tough, and the temptation to break them is strong. But we’d love to welcome you!
For more insights on home insemination, check out this related post on how to navigate your insemination journey. If you’re curious about the process, CryoBaby’s at-home insemination kit is a great resource. Plus, for comprehensive information on donor insemination, the American Pregnancy Association is an invaluable resource.
Summary:
The “Mom Tribe” is a supportive community for moms who want to escape the judgment and competition of traditional parenting circles. By adhering to our ten essential rules—from keeping your home in its natural state to avoiding unsolicited advice—we create a welcoming space for all. If you think you can handle it, we’re ready to embrace you!