This week, my youngest just hit the big one-three. That officially makes me the mom of three teenagers, which explains why my gray hairs are staging a takeover!
Parenting Teens: A New Challenge
Parenting teens? Wow, it’s like trying to juggle chainsaws while riding a unicycle. When they were small, I was the captain of the ship—deciding what they ate, what shows they watched, who they hung out with, and when they went to bed. Messing that up? Easy-peasy! Even if breakfast was a sugary disaster, I could always fix it come lunchtime. Now, though, they’re making choices that could have serious consequences, and I’m feeling the clock tick down on imparting those all-important life lessons.
Not to mention the constant anxiety about online safety, substance use, their futures, safe relationships, and whether they remembered to wear clean underwear (because, heaven forbid, if they get in an accident, what would the hospital staff think of me?).
The Myth of Easier Motherhood
To all those seasoned moms who pitied me when I was a new parent, barely functioning and covered in baby spit-up, you told me, “Don’t worry. It gets easier.”
I held onto that hope like it was a lifeline in a stormy sea. Even when my baby, who once seemed glued to my breast, became my shadow, clinging to my leg. Through years of messy diapers, Christmas tree disasters, and grocery store meltdowns, I kept waiting. I endured numerous encounters involving bodily fluids and wall art created with permanent markers. Yet you reassured me, “Don’t worry. It gets easier.”
By then, I had trudged through enough of motherhood to know that “easier” was a fairy tale. Still, hope flickered within me. I was finally getting some sleep, which I needed to tackle the relentless barrage of questions and the chaos of a four-year-old caring for a goldfish “to get some air” or dealing with a toilet disaster that included socks and half a peanut butter sandwich.
The Reality of Teen Parenting
And now? It’s all about slammed doors, eye rolls, and boundary-pushing. I’m faced with their challenges—helping with math, enforcing curfews, discussing serious issues like consent, and navigating friend drama. Suddenly, I’m the one dropping everything because my teen needs to talk—right now!
So please, don’t tell me it gets easier. That’s just not true.
I’ve swapped out kissing boo-boos for mending broken hearts. I’ve traded sleepless nights rocking a baby for sleepless nights worrying about the choices they’ll make when I’m not looking—the kind that could change their lives forever. I’ve exchanged “The Wheels on the Bus” for the much-repeated “Be Responsible.” The questions have evolved from simple curiosity about the sky to complex dilemmas about human behavior.
But one thing remains constant: they still want food… all the time! Some things never change. And at least I no longer smell like a walking diaper pail—so there’s that!
Finding a New Normal
Sure, in some ways, things have lightened up. I can now leave the house without a tiny human tagging along. I can sleep for more than three hours at a stretch. And it’s been months since I’ve had to clean up someone else’s vomit!
Yet, in many other ways, it’s much tougher. (Plus, let’s be real—they’re far less adorable and a lot harder to forgive now.)
What I thought “it gets easier” meant was that life would return to some semblance of normalcy. That I could shower and think freely without worrying about how it might impact my kids. That I’d be able to make choices based on my whims rather than what’s best for the family. I longed for the carefree, pre-kid me, who didn’t have to stress over raising tiny humans.
But after you have kids, you create a new normal. Sometimes, that means wearing mismatched sweatpants because laundry is a distant memory. It’s dodging stray Legos and hiding chocolate on the top shelf. Sometimes, it’s functioning without caffeine or a full night’s sleep but still loving every moment of your chaotic life. It’s about bandaging scraped knees and navigating awkward conversations. And through it all, the new normal is loving those kids fiercely, even when it’s tough.
Embracing the Journey
As a mother of three teens, it’s about setting boundaries, watching them stumble, and giving them the reassurance they need. It’s about having the tough talks and learning to step back when they make mistakes. The new normal involves trusting them to make good choices and loving them even when they don’t—something that’s definitely no walk in the park.
So, to all the moms with littles, don’t buy into the myth that it gets easier. They mean well, but they’re simply mistaken. Life doesn’t get easier—it just evolves. Those little humans change daily, and so do you. You grow, learn, and adapt to whatever comes your way.
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In summary, motherhood is a journey that never truly gets easier, but it does transform. With each stage, we adapt, grow, and learn more about ourselves and our children.