Just two months after hitting the big 4-0, my husband, Jake, and I decided to go for it—no goalie in sight! To my shock, I found out I was pregnant just 15 days later. “But that was our first try!” I exclaimed. “Who does that?”
“This guy,” Jake replied, proudly pointing to himself.
What had we gotten ourselves into? I thought we’d have at least six months to wrap our heads around this whole family thing. Honestly, I wasn’t fully convinced (but can we take a moment to appreciate my 40-year-old uterus for being so efficient?) Then, one fateful day while shopping for area rugs at Kids’ Haven, I felt a strange tug in my gut. Probably just nerves, I thought. The next morning, during my usual routine, I noticed something alarming while using the restroom.
Five hours spent in waiting rooms and one ultrasound later, the radiologist confirmed my fears. “There’s often a reason for these things,” he said. “The fetus likely wasn’t viable.”
Two months later, I found myself pregnant again. While I wouldn’t wish a miscarriage on anyone, the experience taught me valuable lessons that have truly made me a better mom.
1. Relax and Enjoy the Ride
You know how people who’ve had a few drinks often don’t hurt themselves when they stumble? That’s the approach I took during my second pregnancy. The first time, I read every book and bought all the “must-have” products to ensure my baby had the best start. I consumed vitamins like they were candy, got my beauty sleep, and spent a fortune on organic food. That poor child was eating cleaner than a celebrity on a detox!
When I found out I was pregnant again, I celebrated with two wheels of brie and an embarrassing amount of cookie dough. Sure, I knew I should’ve been cautious, but I was too nervous to get emotionally invested. Instead of obsessing over every detail, I focused on the joy of being pregnant. It was liberating. Every stretch mark and every craving—glorious!
2. Material Things Don’t Matter
Jake and I scored an amazing leather sectional at a fancy outlet, and I thought it deserved beautiful throw pillows. Naturally, that meant we had to replace our old coffee table too. Fast forward to today: that coffee table is now a train table, the throw pillows have endured various “accidents,” and the couch has seen better days (let’s just say it smells like a goat that’s seen a few too many dairy spills). So, yeah, I’m not winning any interior design awards anytime soon.
3. The Power of Saying Yes
Sometimes I crave a quiet evening with a glass of wine and my favorite show. But instead, I find myself munching on Pirate’s Booty while watching my son, Max, play with Thomas the Tank Engine. My 32-pound toddler insists on “climbing up Mommy” while I’m juggling bags of organic groceries. I’ll fetch him at the crack of dawn because he wants to play “tunnel” in our bed. One day, he won’t fit in my lap or want my help, so for now, I embrace the chaos and say “yes.”
4. I Chose the Right Partner
When I first experienced a miscarriage, Jake really didn’t understand how to navigate his emotions. He faced a hysterical pregnancy of his own, believing he had food poisoning while I was mourning our loss. It was a bit ridiculous, but it brought us closer. We were in this together, sharing the burden of grief, and it strengthened our bond. It also made me chuckle, imagining how he’d manage when I actually went into labor!
5. My Body Knows What It’s Doing
I interrogated myself, wondering if my body had somehow rejected motherhood. Was my past lifestyle to blame? Then I realized my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to. Miscarriages often result from developmental issues, not personal failings. So, I decided to be kinder to myself—it’s biology, after all.
6. Finding My Tribe
Initially, I thought I was alone in my experience. But as I started to open up, I discovered how common miscarriages really are. Many of my closest friends had faced similar losses. Sharing these experiences not only brought us closer but also boosted my confidence as a mother. There’s no judgment, just camaraderie and plenty of wine to go around. After all, it takes a village to remind you that you’re not alone in this journey.
7. Learning to Prioritize
Yes, there are dishes to wash, bills to pay, and lunches to prep, but sometimes those can wait. Right now, Elmo wants to dance to the ABCs, and my son wants to twirl with me. I’ll be late to my Weight Watchers meeting because we’re reading “Nobunny’s Perfect” for the third time. The dry cleaner can hang onto my comforter a bit longer because we’re enjoying a Saturday at the park. I’ll catch up on chores later because I am all in on this mom life. Turns out, the fetus was viable after all.
If you’re interested in learning more about navigating the journey of parenthood or seeking resources on home insemination, check out this informative post on intracervicalinsemination.com. You can also find helpful information on WebMD about pregnancy and various treatments. And for those considering at-home options, visit Make a Mom for expert guidance.
In summary, my miscarriage was a painful experience, yet it taught me invaluable lessons that have enriched my journey as a mother. I’ve learned to embrace the chaos, prioritize meaningful moments, and find strength in community.