Hey there, fellow parents! We need to chat. We’ve been bumping into each other for a while now—at the playground, in the grocery aisles, and outside gymnastics classes, all while racing to catch the next commuter train. We casually ask each other how we’re doing, and the go-to answer is always “fine.” But let’s be real; that answer is usually a total charade.
What we truly mean is that we’re worn out, anxious, and maybe a little frustrated. We’re tired of scurrying around to a dozen stores to find the most Instagram-worthy treats for the school Halloween bash. We’re running on fumes after staying up late to craft the perfect birthday invitations, respond to work emails, and prepare lunches for the next day. We feel bleh because we haven’t had time to put on makeup or get a decent haircut in what feels like forever. We scroll through our grocery carts, filled more with sugary cereals and frozen pizzas than with kale and organic strawberries, and the guilt just piles on.
At night, we collapse into bed, mentally ticking off the things we didn’t achieve, only to wake up to the sound of tiny voices demanding breakfast and the incessant ding of new emails waiting to be tackled. We see other parents seemingly gliding through their days and wonder, “How on Earth do they do it?” But then that nasty little voice in our heads chimes in, reminding us that we’re not good enough, that we’re clueless, and that we’re totally screwing up this whole parenting gig. Deep down, what we long for is a comforting voice whispering, “You’re doing a pretty darn good job.”
So, here’s my suggestion: let’s ditch the fake smiles and stop pretending we’re “fine” all the time. It’s time to ask for help, to be kinder to ourselves, and to occasionally let ourselves unravel. Let’s put an end to competitive parenting. Forget about the endless debates over whether we can “have it all” (spoiler: we can’t). Let’s embrace the notion of being “good enough” rather than striving for perfection.
I know some of you might be thinking, “But our kids deserve our very best, not just ‘good enough!’” But let me clarify: being a good enough parent doesn’t mean we care for our kids any less. It doesn’t mean we skimp on teaching or guiding them. It simply means we lighten the load—less pressure, less perfection, less nonsense. Good enough parenting isn’t about letting our kids raise themselves; it’s about stopping the comparisons and the need to wear a mask of happiness while we’re juggling it all.
Let’s face it—some days, just getting everyone out the door on time, with matching shoes, is a Herculean feat. We don’t need the added stress of packing Pinterest-worthy lunches or ensuring the kids wear clean underwear. At least they have underwear on, right? If dinner has been pizza and baby carrots for three nights, that’s perfectly fine! If date night means rocking your best yoga pants while binge-watching a show, then hey, that’s good enough!
Parenting is tough, and pretending it’s not, or that we have it all figured out, is exhausting. We’re all just trying to raise kind, decent humans the best way we know how, all while juggling a million other roles. As a wise friend once said, “Every day, I fail at something. It’s just a matter of what.”
We’re all learning as we go, and this journey comes with plenty of ups and downs. While it’s admirable to aim for improvement, perfection is just a fantasy. With all the stress we already face, why pile on the guilt for not serving organic, sugar-free meals or crafting elaborate costumes? I’ve decided to stop striving for perfection and instead embrace being a good enough parent. And you know what? When I did that, I finally heard the words I needed: “You’re doing a damn good job.” And guess what? So are you!
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Summary
Parenting can feel overwhelming, and the pressure to be perfect is exhausting. Instead of striving for an unrealistic ideal, let’s embrace being good enough, giving ourselves permission to let go of the stress and comparisons. Remember, you’re doing a great job just as you are!