Updated: August 8, 2016
Originally Published: October 5, 2014
From the moment you take your first breath, you’re subjected to a series of measurements and comparisons, all against some elusive standard of “normal.” You’re plotted on a chart, your growth tracked through percentiles and numbers that quickly become your identity. Where you land on that chart often defines how you see yourself, and most of us find ourselves drifting in the vast space between “who we are” and “who we think we should be.”
It’s not even about whether you want to be “normal”—the pressure often comes from others. Your parents, doctors, that friendly delivery nurse, and sometimes even your siblings—everyone seems to have an idea of what “normal” looks like. If you don’t match up, then get ready for a fix-it plan (even if there’s nothing to fix). Before long, you might start to feel like something’s wrong with you.
“Look here,” your doctor might say, pointing to a single dot on the chart. “You’re here, but ideally, you’d be over there.” His finger glides toward a crowd of other dots, all clustered together.
Without realizing it, we often equate our self-worth with these results, molding our self-image to fit within these confines. But here’s the kicker: we are not our results, nor are we the roles others assign us. Yet, we often live according to these external standards, raising our children in the same way and perpetuating the cycle. The invisible “normal” we all strive for is a myth, but we cling to it out of fear: fear that there’s a right way to be human, and a nagging suspicion that we’re not quite getting it right.
We are solitary beings, and our lives can be as unfathomable to others as they are to ourselves. Still, we seem to have this tendency to judge ourselves against others, assuming they have it all figured out. How do we know if we’re doing this whole “being human” thing correctly? Since the only experience we truly have is our own, many of us conclude—wrongly—that others are just doing it better. This leads to a cycle of comparisons where we measure our normal against our own view of what seems abnormal.
We trap ourselves within the limitations of our beliefs about ourselves and others, often unaware of how inaccurate those beliefs can be. The fear of being judged and critiqued keeps us from being honest about our struggles, making vulnerability feel like a risky endeavor. To pretend we are anything other than our true selves is to buy into a flawed notion of normalcy that goes against the beautiful complexity of humanity. There’s no universal “normal.” The only thing that’s truly normal about being human is our unique differences.
So, embrace the quirks and nuances that make you, you! After all, those differences are what make life interesting, right?
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Summary:
This piece highlights the societal pressures surrounding the concept of “normal” and how we often compare ourselves to an unrealistic standard. It emphasizes that individual differences are what truly define our humanity, encouraging readers to embrace their unique identities rather than conform to external expectations.