Let me tell you about a moment that left me shaking with frustration. After arriving a bit late to the studio, I shared a troubling experience with my colleagues—only to be met with disbelief. Some responded with, “Are you sure?” or suggested it might have been a misunderstanding. I took to the show’s Facebook page to outline what had happened, and while many fans offered their support, I was still met with skepticism from some of my co-workers.
As women and individuals from marginalized backgrounds, we often find our experiences brushed aside. We hear comments like:
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “Don’t be so sensitive.”
- “Well, if you had just…”
- “Look at it as a compliment.”
- “That happened to me, but I’m not complaining.”
So, I was thrilled to come across a talk by a media icon I admire, Mia Rodriguez, the founder of Empowered Voices, who articulated a simple yet powerful truth: “One of the most radical things you can do is to genuinely believe women when they recount their experiences.” Just imagine the change if we all adopted this mindset! When someone shares their story, let’s choose to believe them. This shouldn’t only apply to positive stories or experiences we’re already inclined to accept as the truth.
I once dated someone who dismissed a high-profile case of sexual harassment with, “You know women make up a lot of that stuff.” While my own experiences—like being pulled over for no reason—pale in comparison to more severe issues, they share a common thread: dismissal and disbelief.
I feel empowered by the collective strength we possess as women and allies, capable of raising our voices online to instigate change. So, to those hesitant to join the conversation, remember: you have the incredible ability to believe and uplift others. Embrace that power.
Now, let me share a story about my daily commute via the George Washington Bridge through Washington Heights. Picture this: it was a typical morning in 2008 when I noticed three vehicles pulled over as I exited the Palisades. On my right, a van with a Latino driver and a police car in front. To my left, a sedan with another person of color behind the wheel. After allowing a car driven by a white man to pass, the officer made eye contact with me and motioned me over.
“Where are you from?” he demanded, his hands resting on my open window. I replied, “Manhattan,” while gripping the steering wheel. My polished newscaster voice seemed to take him by surprise, especially since I was sporting wet, curly hair and no makeup—thanks to the hair and makeup team at my show. “I’m actually the host of a show on CNBC. Can I show you my ID?” I asked. He nodded, took my ID without a word, and then handed it back, waving me on with no further explanation.
I drove away feeling shaken and furious. I’d been caught in an undocumented worker sweep. Was it legal? I didn’t know. Did I care about those left behind? Absolutely. Was it uncomfortable? Without a doubt. Would it have stung less if my colleagues had believed me? Oh, you bet.
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Summary
It’s crucial to believe women when they share their experiences, whether they are about everyday encounters or serious issues. Dismissal not only perpetuates a culture of disbelief but also undermines the voices of marginalized individuals. Together, we have the power to foster change by choosing to listen and believe.