Yesterday, I had the chance to coach a swim meet alongside two other coaches from my team—one was the Cool College Babysitter (CCB), and the other was a father of three, who I’ll call Dad of the Year (DOTY). While we were on deck, CCB, who is just 22, posed an interesting question: “What percentage of parenting would you say is tough?”
I took a moment to reflect and replied, “At least 70%.” DOTY chimed in with, “But definitely not more than 97.5%.” CCB seemed a bit taken aback. “I used to think I wanted kids, but now I’m not so sure,” she said. And right on cue, DOTY and I fell into the classic parent spiel about how that 30% to 2.5% of joy is absolutely worth it.
Last night, however, I realized I needed to break it down a bit more. Being a parent is basically an endurance challenge—think of it as the ultimate ultra marathon with no finish line. It’s a seemingly endless cycle of physical, mental, and emotional demands. There are days when the countdown to bedtime starts before the kids even wake up. Honestly, there are times when 97.5% of being a parent truly feels like a slog.
And let’s face it, DOTY misspoke—sometimes it feels like 99.9% of parenting is just plain hard. When your sweet little baby is crying for what feels like eternity for the seventeenth night in a row? Yep, that sucks. Or when your toddler decides that her diaper is more of a suggestion than a requirement, smearing her mess everywhere while trying to clean herself up with every towel within reach—definitely not a highlight of parenthood.
Ever been seven minutes into a workout at the gym only to have someone from the childcare area come find you because your kid won’t stop wailing? That’s tough. Or those mornings after one too many glasses of wine when your child decides to wake up an hour and a half early and absolutely refuses to go back to sleep? Talk about a struggle.
Then there are the moments you’re trying to write a blog post while one kid is attempting to unplug your mouse and another is enthusiastically smashing an action figure against your keyboard. Or the times when your kids don’t quite grasp the “I’m about to throw up” feeling and end up decorating your house with vomit, or when your teenager tells you they can’t stand you.
And when you find out your daughter is heartbroken over a toxic relationship, or your kid is gripped by anxiety to the point where they can’t leave the house without a ritual, it can feel overwhelming. Those days where you haven’t showered in four days, lose your cool, and yell at your kids to just be quiet? Yep, that can feel like a total failure.
Even when you do manage to separate them in the car, they still find a way to annoy each other. And when your teenager is late getting home and you’re left worrying? Sucks. Or when your kid does something you swore they would never do, and your spouse and you haven’t had a moment of intimacy in weeks, only to be interrupted by a child’s cough that could wake the dead? That’s when the parenting struggle feels real.
Now, on those days when it seems like everything that can go wrong does, it’s easy to hover near that dreaded 99.9% mark. But even in the chaos, there’s that tiny glimmer of hope—the little kiss, holding a hand for just five seconds, watching them sleep peacefully, or seeing their face light up when they achieve something on their own. Those moments of joy, laughter, and love—like that game-winning catch or sharing an experience through their innocent eyes—are what make the tough times so much more bearable.
Yes, the tough days may outnumber the good ones, but the joy they bring can’t be overshadowed. And that’s what makes the whole journey worthwhile.
For more insights on the journey of parenthood, check out some of our other blog posts, like this one about the emotional landscape of parenting. If you’re looking for expert guidance, this resource on home insemination can be helpful. Plus, if you need information on pregnancy options, this site is an excellent resource.
Summary
Parenting is a marathon filled with challenges and struggles, making it feel like at least 70% of the experience is tough. However, amidst the chaos, there are precious moments of joy that make the journey worthwhile.