Updated: Aug. 6, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 4, 2014
When my doctor announced in the delivery room that a third daughter was on her way, my heart soared with joy. Growing up alongside two sisters, I was thrilled at the idea of my three girls sharing the same wild ride of emotional ups and downs—an all-female whirlwind of drama and excitement. Plus, we already had a trove of girl gear, making the transition smoother, as I tend to prioritize practical household logistics. Our boy name was going to be Jessica, and I could just picture her adorably swaddled in a pink gingham dress as she left the hospital.
But let’s move past our imaginary son Jessica. Here are some truths I’ve gathered about raising daughters:
- Girls Can Be Just as Disgusting as Boys.
Contrary to the stereotype, my daughters can match my nephews in the gross-out department. While my nephews revel in bodily functions—think farts, burps, and spontaneous bathroom antics—there’s something downright eerie when my sweet daughter, complete with ribbons in her hair, lets rip a seven-second fart at the dinner table. My oldest has even honed the skill of farting on command, once leading to a wardrobe change after a particularly ambitious attempt.And when my 3-year-old waddles out of the bathroom shouting, “Hey everyone! Check out my monster turd!” I’m definitely not rushing to see. I prefer to keep a little mystery intact at home.
- Daily Outfits Are a Riddle.
Dressing three little girls is like solving a puzzle where the answers change by the minute as the clock ticks down. I’ve given up trying to have a say in their clothing choices. My role has become ensuring they are covered and not smelling like a public restroom.“Sweetheart,” I say, “YOU chose that cute dress at the store, and I bought it because you liked it. Now wear it.” “But it’s so itchy!” they protest, poking at perfectly soft cotton as if it were a thorny vest. Once they finally settle on something—after several outfit changes before breakfast—I tiptoe away, praying the universe’s delicate balance remains undisturbed.
- Glitter is the Absolute Worst.
Glitter should be treated like a hazardous substance in your home. It seems harmless when you bring in that cute headband, but two days later, you’ll find yourself showing up to a meeting with an unintentional sparkly mustache. The more you try to remove it, the more it seems to multiply. Trust me, any item adorned with glitter should be disposed of immediately! - Hair Management is an Uphill Battle.
Hair is a battlefield. Just when I think I’ve nailed the ponytail, my friend sends me a link to a YouTube channel promising easy hairstyles. Easy for everyone except me, it seems. My attempt at a simple French braid ended with my daughter screaming on the floor while I clung to her hair, desperately trying to finish the job. I suspect attempting a more intricate hairstyle would require chloroform. - Body Image is a Heavy Burden.
A few days ago, my daughter asked if her classmates would think she was beautiful in a certain dress. I panicked, realizing the weight of her question. I told her the truth: “The people who care about you love you for who you are, not what you wear.” Truthfully, I’m just hoping she’ll focus more on pulling weeds than worrying about her appearance. - Emotions are Weapons.
Boys might punch each other in the head and move on, but girls have a more imaginative way of handling conflict. “You wore my favorite dress? Fine, I’ll cut your hair while you sleep.” I learned this the hard way when my sister and I had a huge fight; her revenge involved ruining my dessert in a way that left a lasting impression. - Fashion Choices Can Be Outrageous.
One evening, the girls decided to put on a “dance show” and came downstairs dressed in every sparkly outfit they could find. It was like a scene from a wild nightclub. My husband and I were left in shock as they strut their stuff, completely unaware of how inappropriate it all was. - The Joys of Being a Girl.
Despite the chaos, doing girly things is a blast—nail painting, princess play, and crafting fairy houses are all part of the fun. You might think boys can join in, and you’re right! Everyone should host a stuffed animal wedding in their playroom. But I know that soon enough, my daughters will be too cool to hang out with me, relegating me to the role of cook and chauffeur.
The memories we create together, even the messy ones, are what I’ll cherish. After all, I was once a girl who could totally relate to the joys and challenges of childhood. And yes, even the occasional embarrassing moment at the dinner table.
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Summary:
Raising daughters is a rollercoaster of emotions, wardrobe changes, and glitter disasters. From managing expectations about body image to navigating the chaos of daily life and hair styling, it’s a wild journey filled with both challenges and joy. Ultimately, it’s about creating lasting memories in the midst of the delightful and messy moments of girlhood.