When I was expecting my first little one, a decade (and countless sleepless nights) ago, I approached pregnancy like I did my college classes: devouring every book, attending every class, and joining forums. I was the quintessential overachiever, determined to ace Motherhood 101. I showed up for birthing classes, scoured the hospital, and even dragged my partner to a breastfeeding workshop. I meticulously washed all the baby clothes in hypoallergenic detergent and practiced my kegels like it was my job.
Then, I had my baby.
And like many new moms, I found myself in bed, feeling like a mess, with fluids and stitches reminding me of the reality I was in. My body was doing things I had never anticipated, and my hormones were in free fall. All I could think was, “Why didn’t anyone prepare me for this?”
The truth? I wasn’t ready to hear it. I was too focused on pregnancy, childbirth, and baby gear to understand that giving birth was just the beginning. Here are ten things I wish I had known before diving into motherhood:
- The Moment You Meet Your Baby Might Not Be Magical. When you first see or hold your newborn, it’s possible you won’t hear choirs of angels. You might be in pain, exhausted, or even having a nurse assisting with delivery complications. That’s okay; those heartwarming moments will come later.
- Bathroom Breaks Are An Adventure. Your first trip to the bathroom post-delivery will be a major event. Don’t hesitate to ask for help; it’s best not to risk passing out alone. Get used to the idea that your dignity will be tested during this motherhood journey!
- Breastfeeding Is No Walk in the Park. Learning to breastfeed can be tough. You’ll likely experience painful moments, especially at first. My advice? Seek help from a lactation consultant. And if breastfeeding isn’t your thing, that’s totally fine too. What matters most is the love you give your baby.
- Crying is Normal. On about day four postpartum, expect a wave of tears. This is when hormones can really crash. You might feel overwhelmed and question everything. Cry it out; it’s part of the process. Just don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you feel persistently down.
- Stay in Your PJs. Seriously, resist the urge to put on real clothes for at least two weeks. Once you dress up, people will expect you to be functioning. Enjoy the pajama life; you’ll need all the energy you can muster to care for your little one.
- Babies Don’t Always Sleep. Don’t blame yourself if your baby isn’t sleeping through the night. Every baby is different, and some just take longer to find their sleep groove. Other parents might embellish their sleep stories, but remember, it’s all part of the journey.
- Trust Your Instincts. Don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t know your baby best. There are countless ways to be a good parent, and you don’t have to follow any one path — especially not the one your mom or mother-in-law took.
- Seek Out Support. Join new mom groups, whether in your area or online. Connecting with fellow new parents can be a lifesaver. It’s a bit like starting college; you need your fellow newbies for support and camaraderie.
- Avoid the Martyr Complex. Kids don’t want martyrs as parents. Don’t hesitate to accept help — whether that’s a friend holding the baby while you shower or nap. Acknowledge that it’s tough sometimes; being a mom is a big adjustment.
- Capture the Moments. Take loads of photos (and don’t forget to be in some of them). You’ll be grateful for these memories later, trust me!
Above all, I wish someone had prepared me for the rollercoaster that is the first year of motherhood. Each day is a mix of miracles and challenges, and you might feel like you’re never going to get an A+. Yet, you will be forever transformed, and those experiences are uniquely yours.
For more insights on this journey, consider checking out this article about pregnancy experiences, or visit Make a Mom for helpful resources. The CDC also offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination, which can be great for new parents.
Summary
Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience filled with unexpected challenges and joys. From the reality of postpartum emotions to the intricacies of breastfeeding, understanding these aspects can make the transition smoother. Remember to trust your instincts, seek support, and cherish the moments, as this journey is uniquely yours.