I used to roll my eyes when people said, “You really don’t understand parenting until you’re a parent.” Of course, I knew it was a challenge – kids are adorable but require enormous effort. I mean, come on, isn’t getting a dog a good practice run for parenthood? Now, as a mother of three, I fully understand that the reality of parenting is a whole different ballgame. So, let me share my insights with those expecting their first child. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A ROLLER COASTER PARENTING IS UNTIL YOU’RE ACTUALLY RIDING IT!
If I were to give advice to new parents, it wouldn’t be the cliché stuff about how life changes forever. Instead, I’d invite you to sit down with a comfy drink and share the real scoop about parenting. Let’s dive in…
1. Kids Are Disgusting
Most people get the concept that kids are messy – they poop, pee, and occasionally vomit. But when you’re the parent, you’re the one dealing with the aftermath of these messes, which can be quite shocking. Think outside of just diapers and the odd stomach bug. Imagine your kid deciding to drop a deuce on the floor at a mall, or having a friend whose little one once made a mess in her hand at the grocery store. And let’s not forget about the times when your child has a tantrum and ends up hurling their last two days’ worth of meals all over themselves. Trust me, these won’t be isolated incidents; they’ll happen often, sometimes multiple times a day.
And yes, kids will eat their boogers. You might think that only happens to other people’s kids, but all little ones eventually try it. They might also find some old, half-eaten fry on the floor or pick up ABC gum from the bottom of a movie theater seat. Welcome to parenthood!
2. Kids Are Always Dirty
Before having kids, I had a vague idea that they get dirty. I babysat, so I understood the messy faces and sticky hands. What I didn’t anticipate was that dirt and crumbs are like ninjas – they just can’t be contained! No matter how often you wipe them down or vacuum, you’ll discover crumbs in the oddest places – like in the toothpaste tube!
And let’s not forget how everything in your house will inevitably become sticky. Toys, books, your phone, the cat – nothing is safe. You will be on a first-name basis with Windex and laundry detergent as you tackle all the stains and fingerprints around your home.
3. Kids Are Little Hoarders
You may expect a few toys, but you will soon find your house resembling a toy store explosion. Even if you don’t buy many toys, friends and family will shower your kids with gifts. You’ll find toys in every room, including the bathroom!
Initially, you might try to organize everything, but eventually, you’ll just start tossing things into any container with a bit of space. Embrace the chaos; it will save you your sanity!
4. Kids Are Food Moochers
When it comes to food, kids fall into two categories: those who eat anything and those who hardly eat anything. But regardless of their eating habits, they will beg for whatever you’re eating. “Can I have a bite? Just one!”
If you want to enjoy your meal, you’ll have to either deny them completely or hope they take a bite of something they hate, which will often lead to them spitting it back on your plate. You might want to consider hiding out in the kitchen for a peaceful meal.
5. Kids Don’t Sleep When You Want Them To
Everyone knows that newborns can be sleep thieves, but the unpredictability doesn’t stop there. Just when you think you’ve established a routine, your child decides to throw a wrench in your plans. They will sleep in when you have a schedule to stick to, and wake up at the crack of dawn when you could actually sleep in.
The one thing that remains true? Your kids will always keep you guessing, and they’ll be wonderfully unpredictable.
6. Kids Are Incredibly Needy
From the moment they’re born, kids require constant attention. Feeding, changing, bathing – it’s a full-time job. But what you might not realize is that this neediness only escalates as they grow. They continue to rely on you, and the demands rarely lessen, making you feel like you’re on a never-ending treadmill of requirements.
For more insights on navigating parenthood and fertility options, check out our other post here. If you’re interested in more information on home insemination, visit Cryobaby for expert advice. You can also find valuable resources at the NHS for pregnancy and IVF here.
In summary, becoming a parent is a delightful, messy, and often overwhelming journey. The lessons you learn along the way are priceless, and while you may think you know what to expect, nothing prepares you for the reality of it all.