Some folks claim their intimate lives remained untouched by the arrival of their little ones, while others insist they’ve become more adventurous post-baby. I’m honestly skeptical of both perspectives.
Now, I’m not against a good romp in the sheets, but it’s hard for me to believe that anyone’s sex life stays the same—or even improves—after kids come along. Unless, of course, you weren’t exactly busy in that department before becoming parents. If that’s the case, my sympathies are with you. But if you were starting from a low point, perhaps you’ve managed to keep your expectations in check, which might just be the secret to feeling like a champ.
But enough about the single life—let’s dive into the heart of the matter: parenthood often puts a damper on your intimate connections.
While I’m no relationship guru, I’ve noticed five distinct phases couples go through in their sex lives after becoming parents:
- The Dating Phase
Ah, the golden days! Remember when every meeting felt electric, and the chemistry was off the charts? I can recall my first six months with my partner, barely being able to contain myself. You know what I mean when I say “Just Been…” hair—don’t you? - Co-habitating Bliss
This phase starts with a bang (literally). You think moving in together means a constant stream of intimacy, but oh boy! Reality has other plans. Spoiler alert: those nightly rendezvous start dwindling. - The Goalie’s Gone Phase
Here comes the “we’re trying” chapter! The excitement of ditching birth control can transport you right back to that dreamy dating phase. It feels almost magical—at least for a month. But as the weeks drag on without a positive test, what was once thrilling starts to feel more like a science experiment. - We’re Expecting!
When the news of a pregnancy hits, elation fills the air. But then reality strikes—hello, morning sickness! Trust me, not much is sexier than hearing your partner run to the bathroom. The good news? By the second trimester, things can perk up. The not-so-good news? Many partners get a bit squeamish about intimacy once they see the baby bump grow. The idea of “poking the baby” doesn’t exactly boost confidence, does it? - The “We’ll Never Have Sex Again” Phase
Welcome to the final phase! From this point forward, your sex life will never be the same. Scheduling intimacy around naps and bedtime becomes the new norm, and when you finally find the energy to be intimate, you’re praying the baby doesn’t wake up. Seriously, the sound of a crying child is the ultimate mood killer.
I’m sure there are more than these five phases in this rollercoaster of love, but my partner and I haven’t reached that stage yet. I’m optimistic that when our little one starts school in a couple of years, things might cycle back around, and we could even enjoy some spontaneous afternoon delights again. If I’m wrong, though, let’s keep that info between us, okay?
For those interested in more insights about pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the NHS. And if you’re looking for the best tools to assist with your journey, consider this authority on self insemination.
Summary
Parenthood undoubtedly changes the landscape of intimacy, and most couples navigate through five key phases from dating to the often-challenging reality of parenting. Understanding these stages can help couples manage their expectations and find joy in their evolving relationship.