Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That: A Mom’s Reality Check

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Remember Sweet Brown, the viral sensation with her unforgettable line, “Ain’t nobody got time for that”? I think of that line frequently amidst the chaos of parenthood. So, for a laugh, here are 30 things that just don’t fit into a busy mom’s schedule:

  1. Singing “Happy Birthday” twice while washing hands? Please! By the time I hit the second verse, my kid’s already racing through the cereal aisle at the grocery store.
  2. Shopping? Forget leisurely browsing for the perfect outfit. One word: Amazon.com.
  3. Bikram yoga for 90 minutes? Hard pass.
  4. Blow-drying the back of my hair? Who even looks back there?
  5. Clipping my kids’ nails? I’ll take my chances until they come out scratching each other.
  6. Massages? Oh, how I wish.
  7. Holiday trips to Costco? Nope, not happening.
  8. Oil changes? If the light’s not on, I’m good.
  9. Socks? Seriously, is there anything more time-consuming than wrestling socks onto tiny feet?
  10. Speeding tickets? We had our reasons, okay?
  11. Trying on clothes? See previous point about shopping.
  12. Small talk? Just get to the point already!
  13. Getting sick? As moms, we can’t afford it. Ain’t nobody got time for being ill.
  14. Watching TV while lounging? Nope—TV is for multitasking, like folding laundry.
  15. Hangovers? Kids don’t care if you had a wild night out. “Milk NOW, Mom!”
  16. Drama? We used to love it, but once those kids arrive, it’s all about survival.
  17. Anything labeled “gourmet” or “from scratch.”
  18. Sewing? Home economics was never my strong suit, and the dry cleaners are always an option.
  19. Cleaning out the car? What’s the point?
  20. Compiling photo albums? We’ll snap pictures all day, but organizing them? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
  21. Makeup? Just to wash it off later? No thanks.
  22. Waxing? We all have that moment of horror when we spot a rogue chin hair.
  23. Teacher conferences in preschool? “He’s great with crayons?” Wow, groundbreaking info!
  24. Marathon training? Three-hour practice runs on weekends? I think not.
  25. Bento boxes? Ain’t nobody got time for compartments!
  26. Jury duty? Can we get a mom exemption?
  27. Car trouble? That’s like a nightmare scenario.
  28. Phone issues? I’d rather deal with car trouble any day.
  29. Boo-boos? When they’re little, we fuss; eventually, it’s just a Band-Aid and off they go.
  30. Sex? That’s just a whole other universe of chaos.

Originally published on July 23, 2014, this piece resonates with many moms navigating the daily grind. For more insights, check out our other blog posts, including this one about terms and conditions that might pique your interest. And if you’re curious about home insemination, you can learn more at Make a Mom, an authority on the topic. For additional information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit NHS.

In summary, being a mom means juggling endless tasks and prioritizing what truly matters—because let’s face it, ain’t nobody got time for the unnecessary fluff!

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