Ah, mommy guilt. Before I became a parent, it was just a concept that made me roll my eyes. Once I actually had kids, it transformed into a formidable force capable of consuming me whole if I let it.
Prior to parenthood, I’d occasionally feel a pang of guilt here and there. But since welcoming my little ones, it’s like guilt has taken up permanent residence in my mind. I find myself fretting about everything from not spending enough time playing with the kids to the fact that I cleaned the house and now won’t let them touch anything for fear of chaos. It’s a slippery slope:
- I didn’t take them outside to enjoy that gorgeous weather.
- When I did, they ended up with bug bites.
- I read more with my oldest than the younger two.
- I’m too strict one day and too lenient the next.
- I let them have candy, but I also hide it so I can sneak a piece myself.
- I never plan educational activities—who am I kidding, I barely plan anything!
And let’s not even start on the breastfeeding saga or the constant worry that my food choices during pregnancy might have caused my middle child’s food allergies. The TV? Sometimes it’s my go-to babysitter. I’ve gone shopping without them, even while they’re crying at the door to join me. And then there’s that nagging feeling that I should be grateful all the time for being able to stay home with my kids, because, let’s be real, there are plenty of mothers who would love to trade places with me—yet here I am, yelling too much.
People often suggest that I should just shake off the mommy guilt; it’s unproductive and not beneficial. But here’s the catch: letting go of this guilt seems nearly impossible. So, I’ve decided to embrace it instead.
In my mind, if I’m not feeling some level of mommy guilt, it means one of two things has happened:
- I’ve achieved some unattainable level of perfection (which, spoiler alert, I haven’t).
- I’ve stopped caring altogether (and that’s a road I never want to travel).
By embracing my mommy guilt, I gain a couple of important insights:
First, I acknowledge that perfection is a myth. I might try to maintain the façade, but the truth is, I’m human. Accepting my imperfections allows me to focus on what truly matters: loving my kids unconditionally. Plus, it teaches them early on that perfection is an unrealistic expectation, even for themselves.
Second, it highlights that I genuinely care. If I didn’t feel guilt, I wouldn’t be invested in their well-being. Recognizing this allows me to breathe a sigh of relief.
So, the next time I feel that familiar pang of guilt creeping in, I’m going to turn around and give it a hug. I’ll thank it for reminding me just how much I adore my kids. I’ll make a small promise to change one thing I’ve felt guilty about and then send it on its way—knowing full well it’ll be back before I can say “mommy.”
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In summary, embracing mommy guilt allows me to grow as a parent while reminding me of my love for my children.