Parenting
The Dilemma of Knock-Knock Jokes
by Jamie Thompson
Updated: March 9, 2021
Originally Published: June 3, 2014
If there’s one truth about parenting that really resonates with my family, it’s this: parenting is like rolling the dice. My partner and I have experimented with various trendy parenting approaches. We dabbled in laid-back natural parenting, tried co-sleeping, and even attempted to avoid saying “no.” We’ve also tested out time-outs, spanking, and a reward system involving toys and treats for good behavior.
But honestly, we’re just plain exhausted. Our kids often team up against us, and we’re done with strategies that only leave us feeling miserable. While we don’t resort to spanking, we do let a few choice words slip (okay, maybe more than a few) in response to the chaos that our kids create. If you were to listen in on our household between 2:30 PM and 7:30 PM, you might think we were fervent followers of some colorful religion!
My four-year-old son, a charming little chatterbox, is quite the linguist. After all, he has two parents who believe in engaging with kids like they’re real people, not pets. By the time he turned two, he was already distinguishing between “May I?” and “Can I?” His impressive vocabulary has amazed friends, family, and even our pediatrician. We couldn’t be prouder.
So, imagine my delight when my little wordsmith unveiled his own twist on a classic knock-knock joke in front of Grandma:
Four-Year-Old: “Knock-knock!”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four-Year-Old: “Bitch!”
Me: “Whaaaat?!”
Four-Year-Old: “You didn’t say knock-knock!”
Me: (trying to stifle both laughter and tears of shock) “Uh, Bitch… who?”
Four-Year-Old: “Bitch been knocking out here all day!”
Me: (caught between horror and amusement)
The original joke he had memorized (which he’d recited about 746 times) went like this:
Four-Year-Old: “Knock-knock!”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four-Year-Old: “Ben!”
Me: “Ben who?”
Four-Year-Old: “Ben knocking out here all day!”
The stunned silence that followed his performance was filled with an unparalleled sense of parenting shame. I could tell Grandma was questioning what on Earth was happening in our household. A flurry of awkward explanations ensued.
Later, once we were back home and the embarrassment faded, I shared the story with my partner. We burst into laughter, but we also learned an essential parenting lesson about watching our language around the kids. Now, we still let loose like sailors, but only after the little ones are tucked in bed.
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In summary, parenting can often feel like a wild ride filled with unexpected surprises, like our little one’s amusing take on knock-knock jokes. While we continue to find our way through the challenges, it’s crucial to embrace laughter and learn from these moments.