In the past year, I’ve witnessed a variety of reactions to pregnancy announcements—including my own! It’s fascinating to see how differently people respond, and it can be an eye-opener regarding their future support (or lack thereof). Are you bracing yourself for an unsolicited advice guru or a mommy-shamer who has all the stats on how your choices will doom your little bundle of joy? Here’s a sneak peek into the five distinct reactions you might encounter when sharing your big news.
1. The ‘Your Life Has Purpose’ Friend
You might not have realized your life was devoid of meaning until you shared your pregnancy news. Suddenly, all those accomplishments—like earning degrees, writing novels, or mastering your wine tolerance—seem insignificant. Expect a friend to tell you that motherhood is the only true purpose in life. Fast forward to when your little one is six weeks old, and any frustrations you share will likely be met with, “Well, how can you bear to put him down anyway?” Sure, those words ring true, but it’s hard to focus on that when you haven’t slept in days.
2. The ‘Kiss Your Old Life Goodbye’ Friend
This friend will happily remind you that your life as you knew it is officially over. You’ll never experience sleep or solitude again, and joy? Forget about it. She might be surrounded by a chaotic brood as she delivers her “Congratulations…hope you enjoyed your freedom” message. While it’s easy to feel overwhelmed in your fragile state, resist the urge to believe her. Yes, motherhood is challenging, but it doesn’t mean your life is over!
3. The ‘Enjoy Life’ Friend
This is the friend who responds to your announcement with, “Congratulations! Let’s celebrate with a drink!” She’s the one who may have enjoyed a cocktail or two during her own pregnancy and insists her kids turned out just fine. While her advice may not be the best, her intentions are pure. Keep her close because when you’re exhausted and in need of a break, she’s the one who will hold your baby while you enjoy a well-deserved glass of wine.
4. The ‘Enough About You’ Friend
When you share your exciting news with this friend, prepare for a monologue about her own pregnancy. You might start with, “Thanks! I’ve been feeling a bit nauseous,” only to be cut off by her talking about her own experience for the next ten minutes. This isn’t just a pregnancy phase; it’s a perpetual cycle of “me, me, me.” To survive, limit your conversations with her until you’re ready to share a drink—or have a moderator present.
5. The ‘Make Life Easier’ Friend
Now here’s the gem of the bunch! This friend will genuinely care about how you’re feeling and offer to bring you meals when you come home from the hospital. She’ll support you during the emotional rollercoaster of new motherhood and celebrate every milestone of your little one. Cherish her now, as she’ll become your lifeline!
I was fortunate to have a circle of supportive friends after my son was born, and I hope you do as well. Remember, the reactions you encounter are just one part of the wild journey of pregnancy. Focus on the supportive friends and try to brush off the others.
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Summary:
When announcing your pregnancy, be prepared for a range of reactions from friends, from those who believe your life has found new meaning to those who feel the need to share their own experiences. Focus on the supportive ones and remember that not every response will be helpful or encouraging.