I adore my pediatrician. She’s a brilliant French woman with a touch of elegance and warmth. Once, when I was uninsured, she let me repay her with hugs—which, believe me, was an awkward situation that she handled with grace. I appreciate her so much that even though I’ve since moved away, I still make the exhausting drive to see her a couple of times a year. But there’s one thing she does that drives me up the wall: after every visit, she earnestly asks me in her delightful Franglish when I’ll be giving my daughter a sibling, insisting that kids need brothers or sisters.
Honestly, she’s not alone in this. There seems to be a phase in every woman’s life, often between her twenties and thirties, when everyone becomes overly invested in her reproductive choices. The moment you welcome your first child, prepare for a barrage of personal inquiries from everyone—grocery clerks to distant relatives—who feel entitled to know your family planning status.
Since I’ve already welcomed one child and married my partner, the question that everyone seems to be fixated on is when I’ll be adding more little bundles of joy to our family. The answer? Never. Not in this lifetime. I’m even considering tattooing my reasons on my forehead to save time.
1. Sleep Is Sacred.
This is my number one reason for not wanting another child. I love sleep. In fact, I cherish it so much that I’d marry it if I could! My daughter has just recently started sleeping through the night consistently, barring the occasional nightmare or illness. The thought of starting over with a newborn who screams at all hours makes me want to down a bottle of wine. Thankfully, I can always sleep it off.
2. Sibling Rivalry? No, Thanks.
Okay, maybe “hate” is a strong word. I’m estranged from one sibling, another rarely answers the phone, and I’m pretty close with my third. People often insist that everyone should have siblings because they loved theirs. But let’s be real: my brother and I didn’t get along until adulthood. We were not exactly the best of friends growing up. So, this whole “siblings are necessary” narrative? Not for me.
3. Money Matters.
Kids are like little money-sucking machines. I knew this before my first child, but it really hit home when I realized they stay around until they’re adults! Diapers, sports lessons, clothing from that store that smells like a middle school dance—it all adds up! I swore my daughter would graduate without a mountain of debt, and to do that, I need to limit my brood. One child can aim for Harvard; two might get to a state school, but anything beyond that? Yikes!
4. Pregnancy Is a No-Go.
I’ve mentioned this before, but let me reiterate: I’d rather perform my own pelvic exam in the grocery store than ever experience pregnancy again. It’s just not my cup of tea.
5. I Might Favor One Kid.
Honestly, I worry that I’d play favorites or feel resentment toward a new baby. Some friends assure me this isn’t true, but I’m not convinced. When we got a puppy, I already found myself resenting the little furball for demanding attention. If I can feel that way about a dog, how would I manage with a baby?
6. My Child Is Just Fine Alone.
I don’t genuinely believe my daughter is “terrible,” but she seems perfectly happy being an only child. When her little friend comes over, she often retreats to her room to write some rather dramatic poetry about solitude. When people ask her if she wants a sibling, she gives them a look that could freeze fire. And honestly, the chaos of a newborn in the house? No thanks.
7. Who Needs an Heir?
The first time someone implied I should be disappointed for not having a son to carry on the family name, I was struck dumb. My daughter carries my genes just as well as any boy would. And if she takes a new last name when she gets married, trust me, the “Edwards” name isn’t going extinct anytime soon.
8. I Just Don’t Want To.
I appreciate large families, truly. I get the charm of a bustling household. I grew up in a big family myself, with plenty of chaos. But what works for others doesn’t have to work for me. Maybe I’m traumatizing my daughter—some might think so—but I prefer to believe that today’s families can come in all shapes and sizes: single parents, same-sex couples, or just one child!
And let’s be honest—if I did decide to have another child now, I’d be bombarded with questions about a third before that one even outgrows diapers!
For more information on family planning and fertility treatments, check out these excellent resources: March of Dimes and Make a Mom.
In summary, I’m choosing to embrace my family as it is, and I’m absolutely content with my decision to not have more children.