This morning, I watched little Mia struggle with her socks. They were inside out, and she was determined to flip them right side out and put them on all by herself. I offered a gentle hand, but she quickly shot back, “No! I can do it myself!” Ah, the classic toddler mantra!
They say that as parents, we often mirror the traits we exhibited as children. As Mia’s words echoed in my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder how frustrating my stubbornness must have been for my parents back when I was her age. Honestly, this stubbornness still plagues me as an adult. I often walk around, projecting the image of the perfect “robo-mom” with a smile plastered on my face, insisting to everyone—including my family and myself—that I don’t need assistance. I’ve got this! I can juggle the bus schedule, pull all-nighters with the baby, prepare lunches, whip up homemade dinners, and squeeze in fun activities with the kids—totally on my own!
Except when I can’t.
Here’s the reality: it was one of those long, exhausting weeks. My partner, Sam, was finally back home after a week-long business trip. While he had traveled before since our youngest, Lily, arrived, this was the first time he’d been away for so long after all our wonderful family and friends had gone home.
I was flying solo. All day. All night. I was like the human version of a 24-hour news channel—constantly on and often repeating myself. Seriously, I was just like CNN!
Sam left early Monday morning, and by noon, I realized I needed to lower my expectations. Sure, I could manage to get the laundry done, but putting it away? That was a different story; it would just pile up like soft, fluffy mountains around the house. We might catch the school bus, we might not—if we drove, we’d make it just in time for the first bell, but early was out of the question. The kids would eat, even if it meant a lot of scrambled eggs.
On our Mommy-Mia day together, when she asked why we weren’t doing anything (because I was utterly exhausted and hadn’t slept more than four hours straight in days!), I mustered the energy for a cooking project. We whipped up six hamantaschen for Purim—just a single tray’s worth—but it was something, and we did it together.
However, by Wednesday, I realized that my new mantra of low expectations wasn’t enough. I needed to take a bolder step: I had to accept help. Even scarier, I might actually need to ask for it. Just picture Mia, throwing a tantrum over her socks, but as an adult—yeah, that was me feeling frustrated about admitting I needed assistance.
So when our neighbor offered to walk my oldest, Oliver, to the bus stop, I said yes. When a friend called to bring over dinner, I said yes—and I enjoyed that delicious meal for at least two nights (and maybe one breakfast, too!). When another friend offered to pick up Mia from piano class, I accepted. And when a kind soul asked if she could cuddle Lily so I could enjoy my coffee with both hands, I said yes.
That one tiny word—yes—turned out to be life-changing. How humbling that it took me 36 years to grasp this! With that simple affirmation, I made it to Friday, when Sam finally walked back through the door. I knew then that I had to step out for just an hour to enjoy some solitude with a beer and fries, away from my lovely little ones, who I adore but desperately needed a break from at that moment.
As I grabbed my keys, I called out to him, “Need anything?” He replied, “Just you.”
“That’s easy!” I shot back. “I’ll go get her. Be back in an hour.”
I need him. I need her. I need all of them. Yes.
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In summary, parenting can be overwhelming, and it’s okay to ask for help. Embracing the power of “yes” can lighten your load and help you manage the chaos of family life—sometimes, saying yes is the best way to say you care.