After a long day filled with sports tournaments and a relentless downpour, I found myself driving home with my kids, who were buzzing with energy and suggested a trip to the movies. Honestly, my eyes were drooping at the thought of my warm bed, and if I weren’t behind the wheel, I might have dozed off.
Me: “Oh, what a fantastic idea, kiddos! But wait, I just remembered—movies don’t start after 8 PM on Sundays. Bummer! Maybe we can try again tomorrow.”
I’m a master at quick thinking, and my daughter Mia, who is 9, took my word as gospel and went back to playing a game on my phone. My son, Liam, who is 12, resumed scrolling through his phone too, but after a moment, he said, “Mom, that’s not right. There’s an 8:25 showing!”
Ugh, thanks to the internet for ruining my only escape route!
Here’s the truth: Moms do tell little fibs. Sometimes, a well-timed untruth can mean the difference between a peaceful evening and losing your mind. We’re a crafty bunch, and our knack for bending the truth is one of our most effective survival skills—at least until our kids get savvy enough to Google everything!
We have our go-to phrases and some truly imaginative stories that help us dodge meltdowns, stave off arguments, and snag a moment of tranquility. Here are some of the classic tales moms tell their kids to preserve their sanity, dignity, and maybe even some furniture! Feel free to borrow any of these gems:
- They don’t serve ketchup at drive-thrus.
- The lunch lady calls me if you don’t eat your sandwich.
- Our cat is allergic to Moon Sand, so it’s a no-go for her safety.
- No money from the Tooth Fairy? Oh, that’s because she’s off on the 3rd Tuesday of the month. I should’ve mentioned that—she’ll definitely come tonight!
- Replacement batteries for that toy? Nope, they don’t exist!
- Harry Styles disapproves of kids who don’t listen to their parents. Now, go brush those teeth and don’t forget to floss!
- Cartoons don’t air at night because that’s when the characters catch their beauty sleep.
- The ice cream truck only plays that jingle when they’re out of ice cream.
- It’s a real shame, but the movies, arcade, and bowling alley close at 6 PM on weeknights.
- The restaurant I’m going to with Dad doesn’t allow kids, or we’d totally take you—it’s just that the waiters say naughty things.
- This isn’t a brownie; it’s a breakfast bar packed with protein and fiber, plus a bit of spinach! Want one?
- Animals love being chosen as your meal; it brings them such joy! Here’s some chicken—go ahead and make it happy.
- Unicorns are real, but you can only see them when you’re on your best behavior. What’s that? You haven’t spotted one? Well, you need to be even better!
- Babies come from the internet, and that little sister you wanted is on back-order.
- Chuck E. Cheese’s is strictly for birthday parties; you need an invitation to go.
- What do the signs say? Well, they say no running, no touching, and definitely no talking. (I’m in trouble once he learns to read!)
- The stuffed animals will get lonely if we take them out of the store.
And of course, the most classic (and ironic) mom lie of all:
- I’m your mother; I would never lie to you!
If you’re interested in more parenting tales or insights, check out this great resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
For more fun tips and tricks, don’t forget to explore this post on our other blog, and if you need more help, check out this authority on the topic.
In summary, the little fabrications we tell as moms can be crucial for maintaining our sanity and ensuring a peaceful home. Whether it’s about food, toys, or bedtime, these harmless lies can help us navigate the chaotic world of parenting.