It’s been a while since I last had a drink—Christmas was my last hurrah, and even before that, it was Halloween. Honestly, the longer I stay away from alcohol, the more it feels like a toxic substance for my body. So, I’ve decided to stop drinking altogether.
I can almost hear the gasps from my wine-loving friends. (And no, they’re not lushes, so let’s be kind!) Back in high school, I was more of a wallflower at parties while my friends indulged. I watched the scene unfold: laughter turned to tears, boys ended up in brawls, and some poor kid inevitably made a mess in the laundry room. Witnessing this chaos made me think twice about drinking. My peers gave me a hard time for opting out—what was wrong with me? Did I think I was above them?
As graduation approached, curiosity and peer pressure got the better of me, and I jumped onto the party train. For a few years, I rode that wild ride, indulging in all kinds of reckless behavior, including throwing up and passing out more times than I’d like to admit.
I have some wild stories to tell—like the time I flashed a bartender for a free drink or went swimming in gator-infested waters at night. But I’ve also seen the darker side, especially with a couple of alcoholic partners that taught me all about codependency. With alcoholism lurking in my family history, I consider myself fortunate to have escaped with minimal damage. When my experimenting days ended, I found it easy to walk away.
I distanced myself from my party-loving college friends and naturally reduced my alcohol intake as I transitioned into adulthood. I abstained during my pregnancies and while nursing, and for years, my drinking was limited to a couple of glasses of wine a week, maybe a toast with neighbors on a Friday, or drinks at social gatherings.
Two years ago, I started writing. Most of my creative time was at night while my kids were asleep. What I discovered was that I couldn’t write effectively with a fuzzy brain or stay awake after a long day if I added alcohol to the mix. So, I swapped my evening glass of wine for pouring words into my computer. Over time, I realized I had lost my taste for wine and the way it made me feel.
I’ve come to understand that I don’t enjoy intentionally impairing myself. I often feel like I’m stumbling through life without any substances to lean on and prefer to keep my wits about me. Plus, I tend to say some pretty silly things when I’ve had a few, which doesn’t help my goal of not coming off as a jerk.
And let’s be real; just looking at a wine list gives me an instant headache. I’m not a great hungover person (I’m equally graceful when dealing with a common cold). So, I’ve decided I’m done wasting days feeling crummy.
Eliminating alcohol has been a huge plus for my mood, although now I just need to tackle those wild PMS swings! And when it comes to unwinding after a tough day, I’ve found that kicking back without a drink is just as soothing—minus the hangover.
It’s been freeing to embrace my awkwardness in social situations without relying on a drink for comfort. (Hey, who left this soapbox here for me to trip over?) Even at thirty-five, peer pressure exists but is more subtle. At parties, everyone expects you to have a drink in hand, and when I decline, people often assume I’m joking. It’s tough sometimes to assert that I’m not interested, especially when I feel like I’m back in high school, where my choice not to drink was seen as judging those who do.
But here’s the twist: I no longer care if someone thinks I’m uncool for not drinking. I’m in a much healthier space now, and thankfully, my relationships are not impacted by my choices.
The current culture of “mommy needs her sippy cup” is both amusing and exaggerated, while on the flip side, there are those who abstain for religious or recovery reasons, which is widely respected. But what about those of us who simply choose a non-alcoholic lifestyle? Are there others out there like me?
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Summary:
Navigating motherhood while choosing a sober lifestyle can be challenging, especially in a culture that often equates socializing with drinking. However, embracing sobriety has allowed for clarity and a more genuine connection with others, free from the effects of alcohol. As a mom, it’s empowering to step away from peer pressure and embrace a lifestyle that feels right, all while fostering authentic relationships.