When I was a child, I called my father by his first name. Growing up in a blended family, I was influenced by my older sibling, who set the precedent for how we interacted with adults. For me, Larry was not just a name; it represented Dad. I vividly recall a moment when I was engrossed in my coloring book, and after hearing a news story about a lost girl, I confidently declared, “Don’t worry, her Larry will find her.”
Using first names for adults was common in my childhood. My godparents were Nick and Maria (with Nick being affectionately known as Uncle), while our neighbor was simply Julie. Even my dad’s friend went by the nickname Sketti, and I followed suit.
However, not everyone views this practice positively. Some commentators, like Jenna Reynolds from the Daily Chronicle, argue that abandoning the traditional Mr./Mrs. Lastname approach diminishes respect for authority. They believe that by allowing kids to call adults by their first names, we’re undermining the respect that should be accorded to elders. There’s also a concern that in our quest to boost children’s self-esteem, we inadvertently teach them that they are equals with adults in every context.
But from my experience working in daycares and volunteering at schools, kids do seem to grasp the concept of adult authority, even when they call me by my first name. They still recognize the need to listen and show respect. Personally, I don’t feel like I’ve reached a higher status simply because I turned 18. There are days when I feel like I’m just a few steps ahead in the adulting game. I can’t quite picture myself as Mrs. Rodriguez-Moser, the epitome of meticulousness; Stephanie, however, might be seen ordering pizza on a lazy Wednesday.
I also think it’s crucial to avoid placing an impenetrable barrier between kids and adults. I want my children to respect adults, but I also want them to feel comfortable talking to them. As they grow up and I inevitably become less cool, it would be beneficial for them to have trustworthy adults to turn to for guidance on tough topics. Many parents have experienced the awkwardness of discussing subjects like drugs or peer pressure, wishing for an escape route. I hope my kids will turn to informed adults rather than relying solely on their peers or sifting through the chaotic information available online.
On the flip side, it’s vital for children to understand that adults aren’t infallible and that they can challenge authority when necessary. Not all adults deserve automatic respect. Some may be unkind or misinformed, and it’s crucial to recognize that age does not equate to worthiness. While Jenna Reynolds does mention that respect should be earned, I argue that mutual respect in any relationship shouldn’t fall solely on the younger individual.
Moreover, while past generations leaned heavily on the Mr./Mrs. model of respect, we’re facing significant challenges regarding how we treat the elderly in our society. The Brookings Institute recently reported a severe shortage of qualified healthcare workers for elder care, and many of those who do provide care are underpaid and overworked. Additionally, the National Center on Elder Abuse highlights that millions of older Americans fall victim to various forms of abuse, with many cases going unreported.
In conclusion, whether you prefer to be called Mrs. Larkins or something whimsical like Mrs. Buttercup Rainbow Unicornpants is your choice. But let’s not pretend that using first names is a new phenomenon or that it inherently dismantles respect across generations.
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