As a mom, I like to picture myself as a fierce lioness. Not a tiger mom or an elephant mom—just a regular, everyday mule mom trying my best. Between packing fancy lunches, hosting family dinners, and ensuring my girls don’t turn into doormats, I’ve come to realize that parenting is a game where not every battle can be won. In this world of loud and very visible comparisons, here are six lessons about raising daughters that I wish I could have learned sooner:
1. Fashion Choices
Once your daughters outgrow onesies but haven’t yet donned power suits, brace yourself for groin-hugging, velour skinny pants. These delightful garments will probably sport phrases like “Angel” or “Party” in sparkly aqua sequins right on the backside. You’ll attempt to buy longer shirts to maintain a semblance of decency, but just wait—your six-year-old will instantly find a way to cinch it at the waist with a ponytail holder. Meanwhile, other moms at school will cluck their tongues and say, “It’s just terrible how girls dress nowadays.”
2. Gender Neutrality
You’ll strive to be the virtuous mom who avoids the stereotypical pink and purple toy sets, rejecting the idea of assigning gender to toys. Instead, you’ll opt for gender-neutral, handcrafted toys, like corncob dolls in gingham dresses made by the Amish. Yet, these dolls will look more like fire starters or voodoo dolls next to the flashy $100 American Girl Dolls that your daughter’s friends have. “But Mom, the American Girls come with matching outfits for me and my doll!” you’ll hear. You might grumble, “Next, you’ll want a puppy to carry in a purse,” only to realize that, yes, they absolutely do want a purse puppy.
3. Disney Princesses
Get ready for the inevitable influx of Disney princesses in your life. There’s no escape from Snow White and her woodland creature friends or the drowsy Sleeping Beauty. Family and friends will shower you with satin dresses and plastic shoes. Just be thankful you have Pocahontas—she’s somewhat of a fringe princess who, despite her scandalous fashion choices, is actually pretty cool.
4. Empowerment
Introducing your daughters to strong female role models will become a priority, weaving itself into everything you do—from travels to entertainment and even political involvement. You’ll find yourself cheering for pop icons like Beyoncé and Taylor Swift; don’t judge—work with what you have! You’ll stumble over your words trying to explain why one of them “sings almost naked in February.”
5. Finding Your Voice
You’ll read all about the dangers of uptalking and vocal fry. As you hear your daughters speak with an upward inflection, you’ll catch yourself saying, “Don’t talk like that! People won’t take you seriously if you can’t even state your thoughts clearly.” But then, at a parent-teacher conference, you’ll notice the female teacher doing just that—using both uptalking and vocal fry with reckless abandon.
6. Music Choices
Your daughters will belt out songs with lyrics that are thinly veiled references to adult themes. You’ll be caught off guard when it happens, probably while driving. You’ll face a dilemma: you can either pull over and attempt to explain the meaning, which will probably just make them love the song more, or you can switch the station and pretend you didn’t hear anything. But let’s be real, their certainty that you’re clueless will only grow! Alternatively, you could just embrace the moment, nod your head, and admit that you too enjoy the catchy tunes of artists like Pitbull and Ke$ha.
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In summary, while raising daughters is filled with unique challenges and surprises, it’s essential to embrace the chaos and find joy in the journey.