This is something I should probably address in therapy, but since I don’t have one at the moment, let’s dive in.
Parenting can be a wild ride, and I’ve certainly had my fair share of ups and downs recently. For the past six months, it’s been a struggle. When someone casually asks, “How are you?” it’s not exactly normal to feel the urge to cry, right? Yet, that’s become my reality.
After my first book launch, I was on a high. I reveled in the thrill of being a published author—the excitement of hitting the New York Times list, the joy of going on a book tour, and the satisfaction of selling foreign rights. Those moments were intoxicating, and I found myself craving that rush. But then, the highs faded away, and by summer, I was left feeling bored and uninspired. I called my agent, venting about the lack of interest in interviews and speaking gigs. Her advice? Write another book. So, I did.
Once I finished the writing, I was eager for the release. This time, I knew what to expect. It was going to be even bigger and better, right? I was ready to embrace the excitement once more. Unfortunately, those anticipated highs never materialized. The second book? A string of disappointments awaited me.
The trouble began even before the book hit the shelves. I learned that due to a dispute with my publisher, all my books would be pulled from Barnes and Noble. No in-store promotions, no events—just a complete shutdown. I was instructed to keep quiet about the situation and focus on online sales, so I put on a brave face and pushed forward. But the first week’s sales were dismal, and things only got worse from there.
Between the Barnes and Noble debacle, the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombings, and a slew of similar books flooding the market, it felt like a perfect storm of failure. Whereas my first book’s sales had been promising, this one was clearly heading for the clearance rack. It was as if I’d been run over by a train when I had signed up for a thrilling roller coaster ride.
The lows just kept piling on. An exciting segment my community filmed for a major show was deemed “too positive” and cut from the airing schedule. Promised press coverage fell through, and books never arrived for the events where I was supposed to sell them. I tried to find humor in it all, but without any highs to balance the lows, my second book felt like a total flop.
Time and again, I was told not to share my struggles openly. “Nobody likes a loser,” I was reminded, so I kept quiet, hoping things would turn around. Each passing week without improvement chipped away at my self-esteem. This blog, my platform for honesty, became a space where I felt I had to mask my reality. I wrote fluffy pieces, steering clear of the raw feelings I was grappling with. As I added more contributors to the site, I felt like I was losing my voice, and I started to resent the very platform I had built with love.
I know this might sound trivial to some. Maybe you’re thinking, “Welcome to the world of first-world problems.” I feel incredibly fortunate to have published two books, and things could certainly be worse. But the past six months have worn me down. It’s been far too long of pretending to be happy and playing by the rules.
Now, I’m ready to break free from this funk. I want to rediscover the pride I once felt and not be weighed down by disappointment. I want to write freely without the fear of judgment, to feel inspired again, and to share the truths of my journey with you all.
So, there it is—the unvarnished truth from me. It feels liberating to finally say it. Here’s to moving forward!
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In summary: After a challenging period of disappointment following my second book release, I’m ready to reclaim my voice and share my experiences. It’s time to embrace the highs and lows of this journey and move forward with renewed inspiration.