When I was a kid, I referred to my dad by his first name. My family was a bit of a patchwork; my mom had lost her first husband in a tragic accident, leaving her with a young daughter. I, being a tiny person who looked up to my older sibling, tried to copy everything she did. So, for several years, my dad was known as Larry, which, in my little world, meant Dad. I remember one evening, while my parents were engrossed in the news, I piped up about a lost child, saying, “Don’t worry, her Larry will find her.”
Honestly, I recall calling adults by their first names quite a bit as a child. My godparents were Nick and Maria (though Nick had the honorary title of Uncle), and my neighbor was Julie. My dad had a friend named Sketti, and that was how I referred to him as well.
However, if you ask Laura Jenkins over at the Daily Post, she’d likely argue my behavior was atrocious and that my parents should have swiftly corrected my “delinquent” ways. She posits that moving away from the traditional Mr./Mrs. Lastname symbolizes a deeper societal shift away from respecting authority figures. We’ve all become so focused on fostering our kids’ self-esteem that we don’t want them to feel inferior to anyone.
But let’s be real—most kids grasp the concept of adult hierarchy just fine. I’ve worked in daycare and volunteered at my kids’ schools, and the kids who called me by my first name (gasp!) never seemed to think they shouldn’t listen to me or show me respect. Plus, I certainly don’t believe that just hitting 18 magically elevates someone to a higher status. There are days I feel like I’m just barely keeping up with adulthood. I can’t be Mrs. Thompson, because that woman has her life together; you can just tell. But Jenna? Well, she might order pizza on a random Wednesday because cooking is hard, and she might own tights with runs in them!
I’m also not thrilled about the idea of placing a massive chasm between kids and adults. I want my children to respect grown-ups, sure, but I also want them to feel comfortable talking to them. When they’re older, and I’ve officially become “uncool,” I hope there are reliable adults they can turn to for answers about life’s tougher topics. Often, those talks with parents about sex, drugs, and peer pressure can be painfully awkward, and kids might prefer to get their info elsewhere. Let’s be honest: navigating the internet for good information can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.
On the flip side, I want kids to realize that adults aren’t infallible and don’t automatically hold authority over them. Sometimes, it’s necessary to question adults. We all have our flaws, and some adults can be downright terrible. Age isn’t a reliable indicator of virtue.
To be fair, Laura does mention that respect must be earned, but she also claims that using Mr./Mrs. titles helps children forge a respectful relationship. I’d argue that not everyone deserves that level of respect. Many adults are simply tolerable, and it shouldn’t fall solely on the younger person to establish respect in a relationship.
Despite past generations adhering to traditional titles like Mr. and Mrs.—think Leave it to Beaver—I’d argue that we’re currently failing at genuinely respecting our elders. The Brookings Institute revealed just this June that we lack a robust healthcare workforce for elder care. Half of these workers have only a high school diploma or less, earning below the poverty line while working full-time in fields notorious for high turnover. Moreover, the National Center on Elder Abuse estimates that 1-2 million Americans aged 65 and older have faced some form of mistreatment, with most cases going unreported. They also suggest that approximately 5 million elderly Americans face financial exploitation every year.
In conclusion, you can insist that kids call you whatever you prefer—Mrs. Jenkins or even something whimsical like Mrs. Buttercup Rainbow Unicornpants—but let’s not pretend that calling adults by their first names is some new trend that’s erasing generations of respect.
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Summary
The article discusses the appropriateness of children calling adults by their first names, reflecting on personal experiences and contrasting opinions. It explores the balance between respect and familiarity, the challenges kids face in adult dialogues, and the need for a healthy understanding of authority.