As mothers, we’re in this together, and part of that camaraderie is helping each other out when we see behaviors that might be driving everyone a bit crazy. So, fellow moms, let’s take a moment to reflect on a few things we can all improve upon, shall we?
1. Stop Seeking Your Kids’ Approval
“Sweetie, can we go outside now, okay?” “We’re going to take a shower now, alright?” “How about we clean up first, cool?” I hear parents asking their little ones for permission all the time, and I can’t help but think, “Why are you checking in with your four-year-old about washing their hands?” Most of the time, kids don’t need to have a say. If I listened to my kids all the time, I’d be trapped in a world of endless Xbox sessions and swimming pools. I’m the one who calls the shots—let’s keep it that way. End your sentences with a period, not a question mark. Save the questions for when they actually get a vote!
2. Skip the Third-Person Narration
When your baby is little, saying “mommy loves you” or “daddy will read you a story” is essential for establishing your identity. But once your child hits two, it’s time to move on. I recently overheard a 40-year-old man say, “Daddy’s going to make dinner now” to his 8-year-old. Yikes! This sort of talk not only makes the child feel smaller but also undermines your identity. Your child should understand you as a father, a man, a friend—your whole self, not just “dad.”
3. Stop the Empty Threats
“I’ll take that ball away if you keep kicking it inside. I’ll take it away, I’ll take it away…” For the love of all things, please either take the ball away or stop talking! Kids can sense when you’re not serious. It’s far better to stay silent than to keep repeating threats without any follow-through. If you tell them you’ll take something away, mean it! Teaching your kids that your words carry weight is crucial. If you’re too tired to enforce it, just don’t say anything at all.
4. Don’t Blame Your Kids for Their Choices
I remember visiting a friend’s house and asking what the kids were drinking. The four-year-old was on his third glass of juice, and the eight-year-old wanted root beer. My friend shrugged and said, “They just don’t like water.” Oh, so it’s their fault they’re drinking junk! Kids can’t reach for sugary drinks if they’re not around. If you can’t say no at the store, don’t take them shopping. And for goodness’ sake, don’t blame them for being kids. Water might be boring, but if it’s the only option, they’ll drink it!
5. Limit Their Pickiness (Especially in Public)
I invited a family over recently, and I got several texts asking about the food because the kids were picky. Not only is that a hassle, but it’s also missing an opportunity to teach them how to navigate the world. This isn’t referring to kids with allergies but rather the typical picky eater. I have one too! At home, I used to bring her favorite foods to parties, but I’ve changed my approach. Now, if she doesn’t want what’s served, she can say “thank you” and keep her thoughts to herself. If she needs a snack later, we can handle that at home. Teach your kids to appreciate what they receive without making it everyone else’s concern.
Let’s take it from someone who’s been there, done that: these habits need to go. We can support each other by making these changes for the better!
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Summary:
This article highlights five behaviors that mothers can improve upon for a smoother parenting experience. From avoiding asking kids for permission to eliminating empty threats and pickiness, these suggestions aim to foster a more harmonious environment for both parents and children. By supporting each other and making these changes, we can all benefit in the long run.