I rolled up to Little League one evening with my four rambunctious kids in tow, asking the coach about practice nights, because let’s be honest, I had no clue when they were until the first day of the season.
“Wednesday nights,” he said.
“Wednesday nights?” I echoed. “You won’t be seeing me on Wednesdays. That’s date night. You’ll be meeting my husband, Tom, not me.”
“Really? This week?” he inquired.
“Nope,” I clarified. “I mean every single week. Wednesday is our dedicated date night.”
“Seriously?! That sounds lovely,” he replied with a touch of snark.
“It’s a whole lot better than going through a divorce,” I shot back.
And you know what? It really is.
I understand that planning a date night might sound like a luxury. Finding a babysitter, putting on some makeup, and wearing something that isn’t smeared with food or other child-related mysteries can feel like a workout in itself. Plus, it requires both partners to agree on a night when they aren’t juggling work commitments or shuttling kids around, and let’s not forget the laundry mountain waiting at home. And yes, it can get pricey. You’re spending money on meals you could easily whip up at home, plus compensating the babysitter for her time. But in my opinion, it’s a lot cheaper than the costs associated with a divorce.
Date night is essential in my marriage. I married this guy 15 years ago, and we clicked right from the start. We met in art school, after all—how romantic is that? Back in the day, we would throw some bread, cheese, and a bottle of wine into a backpack and hike to the beach, sipping wine and discussing our dreams. We had it all figured out.
Then came the kids. Suddenly, we found ourselves responsible for four human beings, along with jobs, a house to maintain, and cars to pay for. Life got real.
Over the years, we’ve both changed immensely and, let’s face it, we’ve become busy grown-ups. Sometimes we might even forget to close the bathroom door (but I’m not confirming anything).
Now, let me clarify: PTA meetings, bowling leagues, or family outings don’t count as date nights. It’s a precious time meant solely for you and your partner—the one you built a life, a home, and a family with. Date night serves as a promise between you and your significant other, ensuring you won’t need to sign any other documents, like divorce papers.
Every Wednesday, I know I’ll have Tom all to myself for some quality one-on-one time, and whether we’re enjoying a fancy dinner at our favorite restaurant or munching on burgers from our local joint, it’s still romance at its best.
I know there are those who think that in the past, date nights weren’t necessary. People were too busy with their daily lives—churning butter or dealing with the occasional bear. Plus, with shorter life expectancies back then, they didn’t have to worry about their partners for as long. But here we are, possibly facing 80 years with our loved ones, so we better make it count.
Mark it on the calendar. Make it sacred. If hiring a babysitter isn’t an option, swap nights with a friend who also needs some couple time. You could even whip up some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and enjoy them in the backyard while keeping an ear out with a baby monitor. It still qualifies as date night, trust me.
Because if all goes well, in another 15 years, our kids will be off living their own lives, and who will be left? Just us. And hopefully, we’ll still have our beloved date nights.