Have you ever found yourself in a romantic moment, only to be jolted back to reality by a sound from the hallway? And no, I’m not referring to the days of your teenage crush—this is you, your bedroom, and that heart-stopping thought: “What if my kid walks in right now?!”
Years ago, when my first child was still safely tucked away in a crib, I came across an amusing article in a parenting magazine titled “What to Say When You Get Caught!” My favorite suggestion? “Oh, sweetie! Daddy was helping Mommy look for a quarter she lost!” But really, where did she hide that quarter?
Most parents have pondered this scenario, usually while, ummm, distracted. And let’s be honest, once we’re done and pleasantly exhausted, it’s easy to push those thoughts aside, promising ourselves to deal with it later—or, you know, seek therapy if necessary.
In reality, we often just lock the door and hope for the best. But with childhood being a long journey and meaningful relationships often involving intimacy, the chances are high that one day, it’ll happen.
Let me share a little story about my nine-year-old son. He was struggling to fall asleep when he began to hear some strange noises coming from our bedroom. Were we arguing? Were we crying? His heart racing, he quietly tiptoed out of bed and listened at the door. More noises. Then he knocked. The sounds abruptly ceased. “Yes?” came my voice. “Uh, is everything okay?”
“Yup, sweetheart, just get back to bed. I’ll be in shortly.”
So, what did we tell him when he asked? Brace yourself. We told him the truth.
“What?” Yes, we admitted it. Why? Because in their stories about catching their parents in the act, didn’t they eventually piece together what was happening? The excuses—an upsetting phone call, a loud TV show, or even an asthma attack—never really fooled them. Instead, these fibs might have inadvertently taught them that while they can talk to us about anything, sex isn’t on the list.
Later that night, I found myself sitting on the edge of my son’s bed. “Remember we talked about sex last year?” I asked. “Yeah,” he replied. “That’s what we were doing.” There was silence as I braced myself for shock or horror. “Oh. But it sounded like it hurt.”
In a moment of quick thinking, I said, “Ever heard one of your brothers in another room and couldn’t tell if he was laughing or crying?” He nodded. “It’s like that. It doesn’t hurt at all; it’s just a really intense feeling.” Pause. “Oh, okay.” And that was that.
Why did my husband and I decide to be honest? We constantly encourage our kids to be truthful and assure them that they can discuss anything with us—promising, “We don’t lie in our family.” So, we felt it was essential to tackle the hard topics head-on.
Lying to those closest to you can be a sticky situation. You find yourself tangled in details, and if your child does question your story, defensiveness can surface, leading to a clash of emotions. It leaves both of you feeling uneasy.
So, lock that door, keep the noise down, and consider being open if you get “caught.”
Will he need therapy someday? Probably. Especially since his story now includes, “…and then my Mom wrote about it for Home Insemination Kit.” So if you see him around, let’s just keep that between us, okay? Or you could help us fund quality therapy!
If you’re interested in more insights on this topic, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. And for those looking for practical advice on self-insemination, Make A Mom has you covered.
In summary, parenting can lead to unexpected moments, and how we handle them can shape our children’s understanding of honesty and intimacy. Being truthful, even in awkward situations, can foster open communication about difficult subjects like sex.