“Did you see how she’s feeding her little one?”
“I can’t believe she thinks that’s acceptable?! He sleeps where?”
“What kind of parent allows their kid to sleep that way?”
Welcome to the world of parenting in public. This is motherhood, where we know our imperfections, insecurities, and doubts are on display for all to see, just waiting for the critics to pounce.
I feel so embarrassed. Am I the only one in this playgroup feeding my baby like this?
I can barely keep my eyes open. I love where my little one sleeps, but maybe I’m doing it wrong?
Is everyone judging me? Does anyone truly see me?
Welcome to the Mommy Wars, my friends. It’s a battlefield where we can be pretty harsh to one another—online, in playgroups, and during those tight huddles in the preschool parking lot. Our parenting views are harder to disguise than our beliefs about politics or religion, so we use them as shields and weapons when we need to vent. The Mommy Wars are chipping away at our confidence, one snarky comment on Facebook at a time. We tear each other down because we’re crumbling inside, our identities from before motherhood fading under the weight of laundry, groceries, and the endless stream of toys and sippy cups our little ones leave behind. Motherhood is tough, so why do we turn on each other?
1. You’re Bored.
I totally get it. If my daughter asks me to be the “purple dragon” one more time, I might just lose it. I’ve spent what feels like an eternity roaring and pretending to fly until I finally escape to the serenity of the internet. Sometimes, engaging in a heated debate about parenting choices can feel like a breath of fresh air. Our moms used to binge-watch soap operas; now we’re scrolling through social media like it’s the latest episode of our favorite show, but it can quickly turn messy!
2. You’re Angry.
As a mother, expressing frustration with my kids isn’t quite the same as venting to an adult. When my toddler flings her breakfast onto the floor, I’m internally screaming, while calmly saying, “Honey, food is meant to be eaten!” It’s hard to hold back those feelings, so we lash out at each other online instead.
3. You’re Jealous.
You know the mom at the pool rocking that bikini that barely covers her? The one who seems to have it all together? We can’t help but whisper about her. Why do we judge each other’s bodies? Because deep down, we wish we could be someone else’s version of perfect while struggling with our own insecurities.
4. You’re Overwhelmed.
Getting everyone dressed and fed, cleaning up, assembling strollers, and more—it’s a whirlwind of activity! Motherhood is beautiful, but it can drain you. When we share our perfectly filtered photos online, why do we pretend everything is fine? Let’s show the reality and support each other instead.
5. You’re Exhausted.
No need for an explanation here. I’ll just microwave my cold coffee and raise it to you, sister.
6. You’re Uncertain of Your Identity.
New motherhood can feel isolating. We crave connection and seek out like-minded individuals to feel safe. In this chaotic journey, we sometimes kick others off their life rafts while holding onto ours.
7. You Crave Recognition.
Do you do a little dance when your baby sleeps through the night? Do you shout about your milestones? We all want validation—“Hey, I’m doing a good job, right?”
Now, do you see why we can be unkind to one another? We’re drained! We’re on edge. We’re terrified we’re messing up the little ones we love most. We need each other now more than ever. Let’s lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. So, put down that keyboard and reach out to your friend. Tell her she’s doing a fabulous job. Share your messy truths because your children are watching—how do you want them to treat others?
If you’re interested in more on this topic, check out this post and explore this resource for all things related to pregnancy and home insemination. And don’t forget to visit Make A Mom for expert information on the home insemination kit.
Summary:
The blog discusses the reasons behind mom-shaming, including boredom, anger, jealousy, overwhelm, and the desire for recognition. It emphasizes the importance of supporting one another in motherhood and recognizing our shared struggles.