“Mommy, why did Daddy leave us?”
My heart aches as I gaze into her big brown eyes, glistening with tears yet to fall; her expression full of hope that perhaps this time my answer will be different.
“I love you,” I say, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside. “I’m so sorry that Daddy made a choice that hurt us when he left. But this is not your fault. He’s not a bad person; he just made a bad decision that affected a lot of people. I’m really sorry it hurt you. I love you more than any daddy ever could, because I will always love you the most!”
Those are the words I share, but what I truly want to express, the thoughts swirling in my mind and weighing heavily on my heart, feels more like this: “Daddy left us because he prioritizes himself. He never should have been a parent in the first place. I wish he could see the scars he’s left on you and our family. He’s a poor excuse for a human being, a waste of space. Frankly, we’re all better off without him.”
But what do you say to those soulful eyes filled with tears? How do you convey your feelings to a child who shares half of her DNA with someone who makes forgiveness a daily struggle?
You reassure her that she is loved. No matter how deep your anger runs, you don’t speak ill of him. You remind her that the man who gave her part of her DNA isn’t evil; she doesn’t carry any malevolence within her. You acknowledge her pain and let her know it’s okay to feel sad. She just wants to be listened to.
You admit that you don’t have all the answers; you wish you could fix things, but you can’t. You tell her it’s perfectly fine to feel upset, and you’ll always be there to listen. You constantly remind her how wonderful she is, reinforcing that her father’s absence has nothing to do with her worth.
You tell her the most powerful truth you possess: that to the ends of the earth and beyond, you love her deeply and will spend your life loving her enough for the one who is missing. You promise her that you will never leave, because every moment with her is a cherished blessing.
Sure, Daddy may have walked away, but he left behind the best part of himself—her.
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Summary
This heartfelt piece reflects on the complexities of explaining a parent’s absence to a child. It emphasizes love, understanding, and reassurance while navigating the difficult emotions tied to a parent’s departure.