I hate to break it to you, but there’s a troubling trend happening, and it’s our own doing. We seem to have come to a collective agreement that we need to redefine what it means to be a girl. Now, before you panic, let me clarify: this redefinition is not the issue — it’s actually a positive and necessary change. Today’s girls are growing up with representations that highlight their strength, intelligence, and independence. It’s about time they see themselves as Brave, Strong, Smart, and Independent women.
But here comes the unfortunate collateral damage: in the midst of this transformation, the word “Beautiful” has somehow become taboo. I’ve stumbled upon numerous blog posts and articles lately suggesting that referring to a girl as “beautiful” is akin to an insult. One mother even penned an “open letter” demanding that folks in her neighborhood stop commenting on her daughter’s hair. Another mom stated she never calls her daughter beautiful. Instead, she showers her little girl with praise every day, avoiding any mention of physical appearance, fearing it could lead to either arrogance or insecurity.
In an interview with The Daily Chronicle, a prominent women’s minister, Lisa Thompson, urged parents to refrain from calling their daughters beautiful, believing it sends the message that looks are paramount in life. Even a supermodel weighed in: Mia Johnson, a well-known fashion model, stated she prefers her daughter to be praised for her intelligence over her beauty, as she wants to inspire her to aim for careers beyond modeling. Johnson believes we should encourage girls to aspire to be presidents.
Okay, I get it. Of course I want my daughter to know she can pursue any dream she desires, including the presidency. But is there anything wrong with being both smart and beautiful?
Listen up, internet: We’ve taken this Girl Power movement a bit too far. When I say “we,” I mean “you,” because I tell my daughter she is beautiful no less than a thousand times a day (give or take a few!).
My daughter is stunning, just like the daughters of those moms mentioned earlier. And because I want my gorgeous girl to always recognize her own beauty, I tell her — frequently. I will continue to do so until she internalizes it and embraces the pure, natural beauty that has always been hers. Sure, she is more than just a pretty face. But let’s be honest: that face? It’s absolutely beautiful!
I also make it a point to tell her she’s kind, talented, generous, and clever. She’s bright and sensitive, with a killer sense of humor (even at two! She has her brothers rolling on the floor with her potty jokes). She’s compassionate, loving… Brave. Strong. Smart. Independent. I will celebrate her many virtues daily so she knows that all the best parts of her — inside and out — are valued amidst the chaos of life. Yes, I’m talking about the “put your shoes on!” moments.
When I call my daughter beautiful, I’m highlighting her natural beauty, not the kind that requires makeup or styling. I don’t slap on lipstick or curl her hair and then rave about her looks. I don’t take close-up photos of her and talk about her blue eyes melting my heart. When I say she’s beautiful, I mean it in the purest sense — even when she’s crusty-nosed, bed-headed, and dirt-covered. Because she is, as any proud parent would attest.
Shouldn’t childhood be the time when we’re celebrating both girls and boys for their beauty? Before they start comparing themselves to magazine covers in the grocery store? Before they hear about eyelash curlers and push-up bras? Before they face negative comments from peers? Before they care about getting Likes on a filtered selfie?
Now is the moment. I will call my daughter beautiful. I’ll beam with pride when the sweet grandpa at the Post Office calls her a “Pretty Little Lady.” I’ll nod in agreement when the store clerk exclaims, “Well, aren’t you just the cutest thing?!” Every single day, I will remind her that every part of her — her mind, heart, spirit, and body — is beautiful, just the way she is, no matter how she chooses to express herself.
Calling my daughter beautiful won’t limit her in any way, and I refuse to let the internet tell me otherwise.
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In summary, as parents, it’s our job to instill confidence in our children. We should celebrate their beauty, both inside and out, and remind them that they are more than just their looks. This affirmation will help them navigate a world that often prioritizes appearance over substance.