Let’s be real: baby showers can be a bit of a drag. Maybe it’s the abundance of pastel hues that just don’t resonate with me, or perhaps it’s the pressure of engaging in small talk (I mean, who really enjoys that?). But there I was last Sunday, hovering near the punch bowl, while women swapped stories about their episiotomies and near-death childbirth experiences, all while the expectant mother unwrapped an endless stream of pastel-wrapped baby gifts.
How many baby towels does one child truly need?
Sure, the tiny pajamas adorned with cheerful animal prints are adorable. Yet, babies grow at lightning speed, and the mountain of newborn clothes amassed by the mom-to-be looked like a mini Mount McKinley (or Denali, if you prefer). The reality is, that $30 outfit from Aunt Susan might get worn just once before it’s outgrown—thanks to an unfortunate diaper blowout.
Let’s face it: most baby shower gifts are often impractical. Items like bottle warmers, diaper pails, and shopping cart covers usually end up being more hassle than help. Odds are, the baby will have a favorite among the multitude of blankets received, while the rest gather dust in a drawer. Even the fancy stroller and solid wood crib could turn into mere storage units for the avalanche of stuffed animals and noisy toys that the little one never has time to play with—after all, they’re usually too busy snuggling with mom or playing with empty boxes and cheap plastic cups.
What really bothers me about baby showers is that despite all the pricey gifts and heartfelt cards, new moms often don’t receive what they genuinely need to navigate the early days with a newborn. More than wipe warmers or baby powder, expectant mothers need to hear less about the gory details of childbirth and more about how empowering knowledge can be in the delivery room. They need to know that a supportive team can help avert trauma and unnecessary interventions. Yes, labor is tough and painful, but the euphoria of holding that tiny being for the first time makes it all worthwhile.
Moreover, pregnant women don’t need a barrage of horror stories about breastfeeding challenges, cracked nipples, or slow weight gain. Instead, they should be uplifted and reminded that most women can breastfeed under nearly any circumstance. Even if it feels unnatural at first, struggling doesn’t equate to failure; it simply makes them human. They must also be aware that support is available—having a list of lactation consultants, La Leche League leaders, and fellow mothers who can offer encouragement is invaluable, rather than being offered criticism or a bottle of formula.
It’s crucial for new moms to understand that postpartum depression is a real challenge, and it doesn’t reflect on their ability to be a good mother. They often need the loving support of others to help them find the light at the end of the tunnel—a light that can be hard to see amidst sleepless nights and colicky crying spells.
Let’s be honest: motherhood is not all about frills and cute outfits. New mothers need practical help—like hot meals delivered without expectations, someone to wash the dishes, a listening ear that doesn’t offer unsolicited advice, or a pair of arms to hold a fussy baby so she can take a moment to breathe. They need reassurance that they are doing an amazing job, even on days when they feel overwhelmed. They need to know that it’s perfectly normal to feel stretched thin and that every mother makes mistakes, sometimes big ones, but in the end, most things will work out just fine. What feels monumental today may barely be a footnote by the time that baby graduates from high school.
In truth, what new moms need far more than a pile of tiny washcloths or fancy rattles is genuine support. They want encouragement, compassion, and practical help. Unfortunately, these are not gifts that can be wrapped in pretty paper and adorned with bows.
So where will all those women be when the new mom is overwhelmed, covered in spit-up, and losing her grip? Let’s hope they don’t bail. Personally, I prefer to slip my contact info into my baby gift and sincerely hope she reaches out when she needs someone. My willingness to be there for her is the true gift.
It’s much easier to buy an expensive present than to be truly present in someone’s life. And, of course, these sentiments are rarely discussed while mingling around the punch bowl. For further insights, you can read more about related topics in one of our other posts here.
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Summary
Baby showers often miss the mark when it comes to providing new mothers with the support they truly need. Instead of focusing on material gifts, it’s essential to offer emotional and practical assistance, along with understanding and encouragement as they navigate the challenges of motherhood.
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