Honestly, I even cringe at the term “playdate.” Why does playing have to come with a formal invitation? Kids should just be able to play freely—preferably outside or at a friend’s house. Remember the days when being locked out by your mom meant you had to survive with just your sibling and that rusty swing set in the backyard?
For me, Saturdays were a childhood ritual. My sister and I would rise with the sun, indulge in episodes of The Smurfs and The Flintstones, and create chaos in the basement. Breakfast was the signal to end our weekend fun, immediately followed by chores that we had no choice but to tackle.
We’d trudge downstairs to dismantle the elaborate Barbie kingdom we had constructed, dust every surface in our rooms, and mop the floors. The reward? Being locked outside to play. My children, however, will have a different narrative—one filled with orchestrated playtimes instead of spontaneous adventures.
With my first child, I was all-in on the playdate phenomenon. I joined every group I could find and even ventured to others further away. I sought connection and meaningful conversations but found myself amid what felt like toddler peace negotiations and lengthy discussions about the best sippy cups or joggers.
The typical two-hour playdate often turned into a cleanup session for me, as I found myself trailing after the kids, picking up smashed snacks and retrieving toys. All I wanted was to kick back with a cocktail and chat with other moms. Strangely, the other moms seemed to think 10 a.m. was too early for that kind of relaxation. I was ready to compromise to 11, but that breakfast-happy-hour never gained traction.
Then there were the surprise playdates. More than once, kids would invite themselves over to my house without my prior consent. I’d give the green light to a friend of my child, only to be asked by their parent what time they should come to pick them up. Excuse me? If you invite, you host!
And, of course, there was that awkward moment when a parent directly asked if my son could have a playdate at my place. I was taken aback, almost thinking I misheard. But no, she really wanted her child over at my house. I had to politely decline.
Eventually, the day came when my kids could have friends over without me hovering constantly. I was overjoyed—until I realized I was now managing more than just my two kids. One little friend didn’t like the offered snack and wanted alternatives. Another thought it was perfectly acceptable to rummage through my fridge. And let’s not forget the time when a friend didn’t address me correctly despite my repeated requests or when another had an accident in my bathroom and refused to come out.
I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that kids can’t just go outside to play like we used to. My home is just a short walk from three boys in my son’s class, and my daughter is old enough to stroll to her friends’ houses. But no—playtime has to be scheduled now. Maybe I should send my kids to school with planners to pencil in playdates.
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In summary, while playdates have become the norm, they often come with their own set of challenges and awkward moments that many parents can relate to. Sometimes, I long for the days of unstructured play, where kids could just be kids without all the planning.