A little while back, a fellow made headlines for tracking his partner’s reasons for skipping intimacy in an Excel spreadsheet and sharing it with the world. I can only imagine how that boosts her desire! To ensure my husband doesn’t start compiling his own list, I thought it wise to lay out my reasons first.
- Let’s be honest. I’m not exactly fresh right now. Between the remnants of baby food, spit-up, and who-knows-what from our little ones, I feel like a walking mess. I even showered today! But the moment I stepped out, it was as if I was destined for a three-outfit day.
- Remember that little spat we had just 20 minutes ago about the baby’s bottle? You know, the one where you stormed off like a petulant child? Yeah, I’m still feeling the aftershocks of that one.
- Honey, my libido seems to have been replaced by sheer exhaustion. Seriously, where did it go?
- How about we just say we did it? No one would ever know, right? We could pretend to be the couple who can’t keep their hands off each other.
- Maybe we should spice things up with a third-party? And no, I’m not talking about someone else in our bedroom. I’m thinking more along the lines of a cleaning service! They can tackle the dishes and laundry while I take care of, well, you know what.
- Sure, we could have some fun tonight. Or we could catch an extra 19 minutes of sleep. I think I know which one I’m leaning towards—zzzz.
- Believe it or not, being micromanaged isn’t exactly a huge turn-on for me.
- After a day of having little ones clinging to me, I feel more like a jungle gym than a romantic partner. All I want is to curl up with a magazine (even a novel feels too demanding) and a large glass of straight vodka. Cheers!
- Want to know what really gets my engines revving? Just once, admitting you were wrong about something, anything!
- And I can’t stress this enough: I really need another shower. I smell like a fast-food joint.
Even though we’ve weathered ten years of marriage, I still find you incredibly attractive. Sure, raising two toddlers can be a whirlwind, but we’re in this together. There’s no one else I’d rather be with. Maybe we can make it happen tomorrow night? Until then, I’ll see you in my dreams.
If you’re interested in more about relationships and parenting, check out this post on Cervical Insemination. And for those considering at-home insemination options, Make a Mom offers great kits. Lastly, you can find solid information on fertility at Medical News Today.
Summary: This lighthearted post outlines ten relatable reasons couples might skip intimacy, from everyday messiness to the chaos of parenting. It highlights the importance of humor and connection in relationships, even amidst the challenges of family life.
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