Ah, the return of chore charts. I promised myself I’d never venture into this absurdity again, yet here I am, facing those exhausting charts on the fridge that seem to mock me. “Don’t get any ideas, you little tyrants. We will never be pals.”
A couple of years back, I decided to banish chore charts from our lives. What I thought would be a straightforward lesson in responsibility for my kids turned into a test of my patience. Honestly, I could’ve used a chore chart for myself just to survive the whole grueling ordeal.
Let’s talk about the nightly ritual of explaining the chore chart for what felt like the hundredth time. “Please don’t yell at your children while you do this.” Instead, I found myself biting my tongue to keep from losing my cool. Sipping a glass of wine seemed tempting, but I held back, reminding myself that I was the adult here.
Then there’s the ultimate defeat when your child earns a sticker for a task they barely completed. “Who put a sticker next to ‘Do not put stickers on the chart without my say-so’? Remove it, immediately!” Of course, that sticker doesn’t come off easily. It becomes a permanent reminder of their “achievement.” My kids interpret that as a clear win, despite the sticker being a total farce.
As the saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, not happening.” So, I decided to change the game: no stickers! Instead, I’ll acknowledge completed tasks with a smiley face drawn with a gentle touch using a number two erasable pencil.
This was all for my responsible child, who genuinely deserves the recognition. Her chart fills up daily, and she even earns bonus smiley faces for extra effort.
Now, my other child—let’s call her Lily—sat beside me eagerly as I laid out her expectations. “Pick up your toys without complaining.” “Sure, Mom.” “Do your homework without whining.” “Okay, Mom.” “Eat your dinner in under 90 minutes without turning it into a green bean sit-in.” “Fine.” “Brush your teeth for more than half a second without questioning the existence of dental hygiene.” “Whatever.” “Be nice to your brother.” “Seriously, Mom? That’s way too hard! It’s not fair!”
A month has passed, and guess what? Lily’s chore chart is completely empty. I’ve since tucked it away at the bottom of a pile of clutter in the kitchen, now gathering dust and waiting for recycling day.
“Hey Mom, do I get a smiley face for recycling? Saving the planet is good, right?” Cue the frowny face in permanent marker.
Originally published on March 2, 2013, this piece reflects the highs and lows of trying to instill responsibility in our little ones. For more insights and tips on parenting, check out some of our other posts, including this one about home insemination kits, which you can find at intracervicalinsemination.com. And for authoritative information on the subject, visit Make a Mom or Kindbody, an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, chore charts may seem like a good idea, but they often lead to frustration rather than fulfillment. It’s essential to find a balance that works for both kids and parents.